#i stress way too much about money to continue being irresponsible

[sillygrossgirl]

13 more days i have to live off of £23. Could be doable actually i just cant have greggs or boba or any of my cravings really. I have to be smart about my purchases but it's HARD. God forbid a girl wants chocolate milk every day and bottled water

[thezombieprostitute]

Dream Come True - Part 2

Summary: The “Garbage Men” are the guys in the mob who get the dirt on others and clean up after the higher ups. They have many different ways of gathering intel by running legitimate businesses. One such business is Jefferson/Jensen’s cyber cafe where you regularly go to work. You’ve actually become good friends with Jefferson’s daughter and Jensen’s niece. You even volunteered as their after-school tutor. One day, there’s a robbery attempt where you get hurt protecting the girls. This is how you are introduced to Curtis Everett, the guy in charge of the “Garbage Men”.

A/N: Reader is plus sized, femme. No other descriptors used.

Warnings: Shooting mentioned, not written. American healthcare system. Insecure reader. Bullying with an emphasis on fat shaming. Please let me know if I miss any!

Part 1 -- Part 3

Series Masterlist

It's only been a few days but you find yourself unable to follow the advice of the medical staff and get some rest. Your brain won't let you. You've got budgets to consider, a resume to update, and follow up appointments to schedule. Thankfully when Jake and Jefferson had brought the girls for a visit they made sure to bring your laptop.

Because you hated not knowing, you opted to spend your time researching to see about how much you might be getting from that back-pay promised by Curtis. Jefferson had assured you that Curtis did, in fact, have that kind of pull but "please don't dig too much into it." You got the impression not everything was on the up-and-up but you have bills to pay so you agreed.

On day four you got a notice of deposit from your bank. You took a look and your jaw dropped. That couldn't be right! You'd done the research. There's no way even an experienced, highly qualified tutor would ever be earning that much! There must've been a mistake! You immediately make a note to tell someone who knows Curtis.

Curtis and Mace were going through their weekly itineraries. Between the two of them nothing got lost. Mace would, occasionally, grumble about needing a vacation but the two of them were the only people who keep all the moving pieces in mind.

"At least we can check a few things off the list this week," Curtis grunted. "Hal's got the bugs planted in the Smith law building. Jake's confirmed they're working."

"Fowler confirmed McMann won't be a problem," Mace reported. "Apparently the guy's busy trying to hunt down the guy that ran away with his wife."

Curtis chuckled at that. "That was Nat, right?"

Mace smiled, "yeah. Nat called "dibs" and we didn't have a counterargument."

"McMann's gonna spend a long time searching," Curtis shakes his head. "Nat's the best at not being found when she doesn't want to be."

"And the Missus is definitely better off," Mace agreed. "Nat's setting her up for life."

"That reminds me," Curtis interjected. "How's the back-pay for Hero doing?"

Mace double checked a few things on his phone before replying, "it's been deposited into her account."

"Good. One more thing we can cross off the list."

"Not yet, actually," Mace hesitated. Curtis gave him a curious look. "Turns out, she's trying to get ahold of you to talk about the amount. Beck says she's adamant that it's too much."

"Huh," Curtis's eyebrows raised. "There's something you don't hear every day. I'll talk to Barber and got some legal-ese that'll explain without explaining."

Mace nods and the two continue their meeting, switching to ongoing tasks.

"Excuse me?" It's been a few days since the money hit your account and you've finally gotten a visit from Curtis.

They kept you at the hospital longer because your stress levels made it "irresponsible" for Dr. Beck to discharge you, lest you have a heart attack as soon as you get outside. At this point you're certain Dr. Beck wants to get as much money from your stay as he can. Everyone who visits, however, says otherwise.

"Hazard pay," Curtis patiently repeated. "That's why there's so much more money than you expected."

"You can't expect me to believe that!" You are indignant. "That's not how hazard pay works. I've done my research Mr. um, Mr." you pause because you realize you don't know his last name. You feel the pang of embarrassment because you've been saying you've done your research but you don't know something as simple as a last name! You push past it and continue, "I've done my research, sir!"

You open up your laptop and bring up all of your documents of notes, focusing in on the bibliography. "I've got data from reputed tutoring websites, the Department of Labor, Glassdoor, even the Bureau of Labor Statistics, and none of them support the amount I was given."

Curtis finds himself smiling. He's been talked back to plenty of times, but never like this. "You're cute," he blurts out.

Thinking he's making fun of you, you look away from him and try not to show too much hurt. Curtis assures, "I'm not saying that to belittle you. You really have put a lot of work into this."

You shake your head, "it's besides the point, sir. You've grossly overpaid me. I know you've overpaid me. Yet you are refusing to acknowledge this."

"That's partly because I'm not sure why it's such a big deal to you," he calmly states.

"Because I don't want to cheat you!"

"Are you saying there's a price limit for saving my nieces?"

"I mean, technically there is. Could probably use some actuarial tables used in life insurance policies to find it out." Curtis gives you a hard glare but you persist, "I'm not saying that your nieces aren't priceless. I'm saying that I don't want to take what isn't mine. This is a lot of money and I don't want you going hungry or something because you feel you owe me when you don't. I only did what any decent person would do!"

"It's been my experience that decent people are rarities," Curtis stated. "As such they, and by extension you, should be treated well and given plenty."

"That's another part of the problem," you sighed. "I have not been told anything specific but I've seen and heard enough to suspect that this money might not be... legitimate."

Curtis's jaw tensed up. He'd have to have a word with the J's about being more careful. "I assure you," he nearly growled, "that the money you received was honestly earned by us and then you. All tax forms have been taken care of. All employment paperwork is settled."

You meet his gaze, undeterred by the intensity in his eyes. You see no signs of trickery. Nothing in those icy blue eyes indicating he was hiding the truth from you. You nod your acceptance and he relaxes a bit.

"Now," he says in a much lighter tone, "was there anything else?"

"Um, just one," you replied. "You said that I'm officially employed? That you might have more work for me? Who am I employed by and what other work should I be ready for?"

"The official name of my company is Everett Enterprises," he explained. "That's the company title on your W-2. As for the "other work" that was implied, it's simply a notice that I may have other employees in need of a tutor. I know Hal has been looking at getting his GED."

"So all you would need from me is more tutoring?"

Curtis can hear the tremor in your voice. You're a good person who doesn't want to get mixed up in anything illegal and he's happy to accommodate that. "Yes," he asserts. "Though that may involve helping some of my people learn how to cite their sources like you did."

That gets a half smile from you and Curtis considers the conversation done. "Now please follow the doctor's orders and rest up," he pleads. As he turns to leave he says, "make sure to get your beauty sleep."

Because he's facing away he doesn't see your face fall at the comment.

Part 1 -- Part 3

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would.

@dontbescaredtosingalong

@icefrozendeadlyqueen

@texmexdarling

@veltana

@winter-soldier-101

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

[sweetswesf]

Hello, everyone.

I had a good time with my mom. Despite what we’ve gone through, I put all that aside for the weekend and just tried to honor her the best I could so that she could enjoy her time and so that we could make a new memory. At the end she gave me some money and told me she would help me with rent so that I could stay in SF because it didn’t make sense for me to move back home if I needed to move back suddenly for a job.

At first I was like, “how sweet and naiive of her to think I’d get a job shortly after I move back” because I truly don’t know how long this unemployment time will be…

She saw what my day to day was like, and she felt sorry for me. She saw all the homelessness, my small space, heard about my lack of friendships and community here, how non-Black people just walk all over me on the street and don’t respect my space, and she knows I haven’t wanted to be here for a while, but she understands the smartest option at the moment is to just stay here…

I can say that I was really stressed this week. I didn’t have much motivation to do a lot of algorithms, but I still did what I could. I tried a few new food places out trying to fill a void. It helped a little bit, but with me being so conscious about every hour, calorie, and dollar, I’m not quite sure it was worth it. I went to a bakery that is usually really busy, but because I went while most people were at work, it was empty. The loneliness of that was just a reminder of my situation. The other place was in the financial district at lunch time. I didn’t plan to get there at lunch, but with public transportation and how slow I was moving that day, it ended up being at that time. I’m sure the people I saw working probably wish they had time off, but I was thinking “man, how nice would it be to have a job right now and not have to think you’re being irresponsible by eating $15 noodles you could have made for much cheaper…”

I’m continuing to pray and be hopeful for the best. I have to remind myself to keep studying, keep interviewing, keep trying, everyday. My Medi-Cal application STILL hasn’t been approved yet, and what’s better: they won’t answer their phones. I don’t want to go back to pay $700+ for health insurance.

I took SOOO many naps this week just exhausted from my mom’s visit. I did an interview. Interviewer was yawning and not paying attention. I would ask him questions, sometimes repetitively, but he wouldn’t respond to them. I guess he was tuning me out. One question in particular he didn’t respond to, so I continued with the design on that assumption, and he later corrected me on it. I had to remind him that I asked him about that and he didn’t say anything so that he wouldn’t give me negative feedback on that part, but once you call them out, it’s not a good look for you either 🤷🏾‍♀️. I asked for feedback and he told me he couldn’t give me any but that, “I definitely did some good things.” But the way he said that makes me think there were a lot of negatives.

There was some “okay” news for the role I’m hoping for and another person who referred me to a different role said she would bump the recruiter. I just hope I can stay focused, not forget what I have learned thus far, and not be so distracted by my circumstances so that I can get what I want.

I’m struggling with confidence and thinking about all the money I have spent during this time. Every day I wake up like wow, I’ve gone 9 months without a job…

The longest I’ve heard of someone going without a job is 2 years. With every passing day, I feel like I get less and less attractive to open positions and that doesn’t feel great, because I don’t want to settle for a position just to have something.

I won’t forget this time. It’s been traumatic. I still cry everyday.

I’m so emotionally sensitive as well. My mom bought me groceries after I had just bought groceries and it angered me. Just give me the money. I am not lacking in food. I probably am eating too much. I need money for rent and health care, primarily. It made me wonder if she didn’t trust me to spend the money she would give me wisely. She also bought me something that would give me more counter space and it frustrates me because it reminded me of how small and frustrating my counter space is and how I want to be in an apartment with more counter space. I also felt like that money she spent on that could have gone to rent or health care.

I told her how I felt. She understood. Just saying those words to her made me cry. I was frustrated and I was frustrated that I was frustrated. I felt ungrateful. She was trying to help and I was trying to dictate how she should help me. It also just reminded me of my situation again. I didn’t have this stress when I had a job. I didn’t have to have these hard conversations. I didn’t have to be so hyper-vigilant about every dollar.

I’m trying my best to stay calm and just focus on His promise for my life. And just appreciate things, no matter how “sweet” I used to have it. I have to believe that great is coming and that I’m going through this for a reason.

My little brother moved back to LA from Korea. He was there probably less than a month. I thought my mom knew he was on anti-depressant and anxiety meds when I saw them after I had his room cleaned. Apparently she didn’t know. Apparently when they went on their vacation to Arizona, he didn’t take his meds and my cousins told my mom that he was freaking out. Apparently, he didn’t take his meds on his trip to Japan and had a panic attack that my mom had to pay a $1k hospital bill for. Apparently, he wants to move to my grandmother’s house, the house I planned to move to if I had to move home.

My brain couldn’t process all of this and I just shook my head. I want my dream job real bad and healing for myself and my family.

With all this exhaustion, the thought of jumping right into a job fatigues me. Sure I could “take mini breaks” now, but how do I do that on a small budget without over consuming social media?

Speaking of which, I want to try next week to just consume less social media. If I need a break, I need to just walk around, open my Bible, close my eyes.

I wished one of my “friends” who stopped contacting me a happy birthday and offered to take her out. She said she felt really withdrawn. I haven’t heard from her since Monday. I feel that relationship has ended and I need to stop putting so much effort into maintaining it when she’s showed me so many signs that she’s done.

I was thinking about how Lil Wayne said he wanted to kill hisself after he was told he couldn’t rap anymore. I get it. If something you’re so passionate about gets taken away from you, you know you’ll be missing that thing forever and nothing short of God can replace that gratifying feeling. Not saying that it’s smart to consider that, but I don’t judge him for feeling that way. I could see why he felt that way. There is always a brighter day and reason to live and keep trying.

My mentor from my old team who’s been practice interviewing me hasn’t left my side. He’s remained encouraging, and consistently meets with me. I owe that man SO MUCH! I’m thinking about giving him $1k after I get a job, but he deserves SOOO much more than that.

I’m grateful for all the blessings and this time. I know more than what I want is coming and that I’m stronger than I think I am.

[alyjojo]

The Person On Your Mind in February ❤️‍🔥 2023 - Leo

Whole of their energy towards Leo: 9 Swords

You stress this person tf out when it comes to money, this seems like your current partner, and they’re keeping a lot of stress on their shoulders, and buried within themselves because you are coming up as kinda irresponsible and they don’t know how to talk about this with you. Because they LOVE you, and they don’t want to cause problems, but they do need to get this out. They are incredibly stressed out and worried about saving money, and any sort of toxic cycles that seem to keep reoccurring between you where money is concerned.

Feelings: Knight of Wands

They see you as someone FUN, spontaneous, kinda impulsive, a “yolo” is the way of life kind of person. The Hierophant rev wanted to pop out and didn’t, you could be an unconventional sort and don’t care much about “serious” things. Which they love. But also, they’re definitely more money minded & practical, and you tend to put them into a panic mode with your spending, so it must be somewhat extravagant, because this isn’t a disciplinary or necessarily “rule-abiding” person either, they just don’t want to be stuck in a hole they seem to blame you for digging. They see you as fun today, don’t care about tomorrow, you two probably like to go out a lot with friends and celebrate social occasions, 3 Cups, things like that. Which they enjoy and maybe just can’t afford…daily.

Intentions: Wheel of Fortune

They intend to give things time, or to wait for the right time, before they come to you and spill the beans on these feelings. When they do, it’s something they have to build up their confidence to do, and they’ll be pretty emotionally detached and “just the facts” about these things. Definitely finances. It’s a “we need to grow up” conversation and will probably have facts and examples, they’re not trying to piss you off, more to see reason. Or that’s what they intend anyway. It may come off in a cold sort of way…possibly rehearsed. It’s not easy for them. Which I mean, if they’re right…what’s the problem here?

Actions: Knight of Cups

I doubt they’ll actually confront you, *because* they love you and all of the things about you, they don’t want to make you mad. They will be very sweet & loving on the outside, and inside, continue their stressful toll of…is this ever going to change? Can I *plan* anything ever? They seem to be waiting for you to just get it, they desire growth and expansion from where you are now to where they desire to be. Probably more stable, especially financially. They want to save, plan, build, there’s definitely earth energy in your person. Or that’s just what they want. Your messages show you’re happy where you are, you don’t want what they want, and they’re stuck in an inner battle with this, because they want you 💯 But they want growth too.

Messages:

Their side:

- You make me feel alive!

- You’re the perfect person for me ❤️

Your side:

- It’s DESTINY, baby!

- I am happy where I am.

Possible signs:

Capricorn, Gemini, Sagittarius & Pisces

If you’re dealing with:

Ace of Swords rev & The Fool show you jumping into something and not being clear about it, possibly lying, or just avoiding telling anyone what you’re up to…probably out of fear of being judged, warned, “practical opinions”. I know Leo to be a more practical sign, so I don’t really get this energy, but I’m picking up on you pushing that sort of mindset away. Don’t tell me what to do. You don’t want to think about the future. Or plans. Or consequences? Hmm.

Aries - quietly manifesting something, there’s a vibe of power with this person, like it will work, whatever it is

Taurus - has a decision to make regarding what they want, and they aren’t sure

Gemini - could be having money, relationship, father, or work problems, could need your help

Cancer - leaving the past in the past, though they could be nostalgic about those times

Leo - has a big dream they’re hopeful about, that could be you, if romantic they really like you and are probably asking you out/want to

Virgo - a backstabber or going through a painful ending at work or in the family, or they feel this way about you

Libra - not giving you anything, or they’re supportive of you generally, but they’re done

Scorpio - feels a toxic cycle has ended or needs to, that they need to, could be switched

Sagittarius - has a deep love for you and is a nurturing person generally, probably just too busy for much together time this month, could also be juggling you & someone else 👀

Capricorn - could be your soulmate and they’re heavily burdened right now, could be this person, or love is a burden on them generally

Aquarius - feels like they waited for nothing, or you did/are, no one is speaking, nothing is moving

Pisces - pissed off you broke their heart, or defending their actions towards hurting you

[missmentelle]

What makes a codependent relationship? Is it healthy for someone to rely on you as a constant source for support, talking all the time? Getting seperation anxiety and experiencing extreme stress when they are without you? Is it selfish to not necessarily reciprocate that stress?

Let's start by defining what a codependent relationship is.

In a codependent relationship, one person (the codependent) consistently enables the dysfunction of another person, often assuming a "caretaker" or "protector" role. The dysfunctional person usually struggles with a serious issue that may make it difficult for them to function on their own - often addiction, mental illness, or serious underachievement/irresponsibility - and the codependent partner will make extreme personal sacrifices to take care of this person and shield them from the consequences of their actions.

Codependent relationships aren't always romantic relationships - they can be found between friends, parents/children, coworkers, other family members, or any other type of relationship. Wherever they exist, are very unhealthy for both of the people involved in them. The codependent person focuses so heavily on the dependent person's needs that they entirely neglect their own, while the dysfunctional person is enabled to continue being dysfunctional and is often prevented from making any kind of progress toward recovery.

Common traits of codependent people include:

a fear of being alone. They often seek out relationships with people who will depend on them and encourage that dependency to ensure that the other person will not leave them.

extreme fixation on the feelings and needs of others. They often view their own needs as unimportant or secondary and prioritize the needs of others, even when this has not been asked of them.

a compulsive need to "fix" the problems of others. when they see a person who is struggling, they feel the overwhelming need to step in and start "fixing" the situation, even if doing so is not their responsibility.

low self-esteem. They often have chronic issues with self-esteem, and don't feel that they "deserve" to have their own needs prioritized. Their self-esteem is often tied to their ability to maintain their caretaking role at all costs, even when it is incredibly harmful to them.

controlling and perfectionist tendencies. Codependent people often struggle to cope when they don't have high amounts of control in their relationships, or when things aren't done "just so". They gravitate towards caretaking roles where they have high amounts of control, and struggle to let go.

external locus of control. They often feel powerless in their lives, and feel that they simply have to accept their circumstances and the way that others treat them.

high capacity for denial. They often cannot or will not see problems that are right in front of them, and refuse to acknowledge the seriousness of a situation - the house will be burning down around them and they'll refuse to even admit that it's getting a little warm.

a history of interpersonal trauma or abuse. Codependency is often a learned behaviour - many people who fall into these patterns experienced codependency from their parents, or witnessed their parents' codependent relationship at a young age. Many have also experienced extreme emotional abuse, from their parents or a past partner.

a strong need for approval. Codependents need to be liked. They need approval. Doing things for others and letting others walk on them is the best way they know how to gain that.

boundary issues. They often cannot and do not set personal boundaries - they take a "Giving Tree" approach to helping others, endlessly giving even when it seriously hurts them. At the same time, they may overstep boundaries to try to fix others' issues, even when it is not their responsibility to get involved.

a lack of personal identity. The codependent relationship often becomes the focus of their whole life. They invest so much time and energy into it that without it, they wouldn't know what to do with themselves.

a tendency to be drawn to close relationships with substance addicts, alcoholics, people with personality disorders, or other codependents. Codependent relationships are usually not a one-off thing - they tend to be a recurring pattern in a person's life. In particular, people with untreated BPD often seek out relationships with codependent people, as they tend to prefer relationships with people who don't set personal boundaries and are willing to provide the extreme amounts of reassurance and caretaking that they need. People with BPD also tend to be codependent themselves, further complicating things.

an appearance of being "addicted to chaos". Codependent people often appear to gravitate toward drama, dysfunction and chaos. Having relationships with people who have healthy boundaries, autonomy and stable personal lives often holds little interest for them - they prefer relationships where they feel needed and depended upon.

Codependent people often have a "martyr" or "victim" complex - they often feel that it is their lot in life to suffer for others, that self-sacrifice is a key part of their identity, or that suffering is simply a part of loving someone. The idea that they should set expectations in a relationship, leave a relationship where they aren't treated well or have an identity of their own outside a relationship is something they struggle with. They often hop from codependent relationship to codependent relationship, becoming steadily more beaten down and burnt out in the process - breaking free from codependent tendencies can be a long process, and often requires professional help.

There is a lot of variety in what codependent relationships look like. Some examples of codependency in action would include:

A mother allows her chronically unemployed and irresponsible 38-year-old son to live with her, and does everything for him. She never confronts her son about the fact that he doesn't contribute financially or help out around the house, even though it's placing a great financial and personal strain on her. When other family members ask why her adult son isn't taking steps to get his life together, the mother becomes highly defensive, and may make up lies about the progress he's made, or insist that he's still young and that this is normal for his age.

A woman assumes the role of "caregiver" for her unstable and very mentally ill partner. She bends over backwards to keep her partner happy, and doesn't seem to notice or mind that her partner never does the same thing in return. Her partner constantly burns bridges with their own family or friends with their explosive anger, and she rushes in to make excuses and try to fix the situation. When friends raise concerns about the relationship, she brushes them off, insisting that she's happy and everything is fine.

The parent of an autistic teenager infantilizes their autistic child, and insists that the child needs much more care than they actually do. Being an "autism parent" is a huge part of their identity. The child has never been allowed to attend an overnight camp, go for sleepovers or stay at home with a babysitter, as the parent is highly fearful and believes that other people will not look after their child properly. The parent strongly resists all of their child's attempts to gain more independence, insisting that it's too dangerous or that the child cannot handle it.

The US version of the television show Shameless is almost entirely centered around codependent relationships. The main characters are all in codependent relationships with their alcoholic and dysfunctional father, Frank. Although the main characters are often angry with their father, they constantly allow him back into their lives no matter how horribly he treats them - at times, they give him money, provide him with alcohol, let him move back into their house, visit him in the hospital and cover him with a blanket when he passes out on the floor. The boundaries they set with him never last long, and they always resume having a relationship with him, even after he does things that most people would find unforgivable.

So with that said: is it healthy for someone to rely on you as a constant source of support?

It sort of depends.

Relationships are supposed to be a reliable source of support for both of the people in them. That's sort of what they're for. I worry sometimes that the internet is making us too transactional in our relationships, and too quick to think that someone is taking advantage of us if they constantly turn to us for support. It's normal to find comfort in your relationships, and to turn to your loved ones whenever you need someone to talk to. I talk to my partner, my parents and my closest friends every day - that often means mentioning things that we’re stressed or anxious about, or venting about problems in our lives. Sometimes people are going through something and need extra support for a while - that’s just a normal part of close relationships. 

With that said, there are times when someone leans on you too hard. If helping someone is starting to take a serious toll on your own life, that’s a problem. Every relationship needs boundaries; if your boundaries are consistently pushed or broken in the name of supporting that person, it may be time for a serious talk. Staying up until 4am to talk someone through a crisis is fine if this is a rare occurrence. Staying up until 4am to talk someone through a crisis multiple times per week, every single week, is an issue - that’s you sacrificing your own need for sleep, and something needs to change. Are you willing to set boundaries and balance your own needs with your friends’ needs? Is the other person willing to respect boundaries, or do they lash out with anger, guilt-trips, accusations of not caring for them or threats to harm themselves? 

If you and a friend are both willing to communicate and work on establishing boundaries, I think it’s fine for one person to need a lot of support. If the relationship is damaging for you and one or both of you just isn’t able or willing to discuss boundaries, that’s a sign there could be some codependence going on. 

A person experiencing separation anxiety and extreme stress when you aren’t around could be an issue - but again, it depends on how it’s being handled. Is your friend able to cope with this anxiety on their own, or are they constantly putting this anxiety on you? Are they blowing up your phone and getting anxious if you’re 10 minutes late answering a text? Do they ever try to guilt-trip you or blame you for triggering their separation anxiety? Do they accuse you of not caring about them if you try to take time for yourself? Are they jealous of your other relationships? Is their extreme stress taking a toll on your life and preventing you from having other relationships or having personal boundaries and space? If your friend is willing to work on boundaries and find healthy coping mechanisms for their stress, this might be something you can overcome. If your friend is burning you out and one or both of you is unable to set boundaries, this might be a very unhealthy situation. 

Not feeling the same stress and anxiety, however, is definitely not selfish. It’s not healthy for someone to feel that level of extreme stress and separation anxiety - it’s not your friend’s fault that they experience that, but it’s still very unhealthy. The fact that someone feels an unhealthy attachment to you does not mean that you should feel an unhealthy attachment right back. No one benefits from that. In any healthy relationship, both people have a life and identity outside the relationship. This is, fundamentally, the issue at the core of many different unhealthy relationships - whether they are codependent, enmeshed, or abusive.

 Being so attached to someone that you can’t handle them needing friends, hobbies, space and independence isn’t a compliment or something to aspire to - it’s just unhealthy.

Hope this answers your question! MM

[sturchling]

Hi, when you have time, can you make a one shot about the aftermath of Mrs. Martin's intervention and the progress Marinette is making with saying no and not overworking? Has the parents and teachers really learned their lesson or just forgot it over time and went back to their usual habits? What about the classmates react and all? And Lila would try to spin it on her favor as always?

Anyway, I want to see some good salt and consequences if possible

Sorry for the long wait, hope you like it! For anyone curious, this is the original story: Part one

Mrs. Martin was pleased with the progress Marinette had been making with setting limits for herself. Marinette was now able to notice when she was becoming overworked and, while it was still immensely difficult for her to do, was able to tell people no when she was too busy.  Marinette still had a long way to go, but this was good progress for only a few months.

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Marinette’s parents were also much better at not putting so much pressure on their daughter. Now that they realized the damage it had done to Marinette, they made sure to respect when she was to busy with school stuff to lend them a hand in the bakery, and made sure she had plenty of time to work on personal projects or just relax. They respected when Marinette told them no, and that went a long way in helping Marinette get more comfortable with saying it. 

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Mr. Damocles and Mrs. Bustier had been thoroughly reprimanded and retrained. After their trainings, the suspensions that had been placed on them were lifted and they were allowed to return to work. Mr. Damocles had vowed to be better at helping students like Marinette, if only to stay off of Mrs. Martin’s bad side and keep his job. Mrs. Bustier on the other hand was a different story. 

--------------

Mrs. Bustier hadn’t learned anything from the training at all. She was sure that Marinette could handle the workload and was just exaggerating. Once she came back to the classroom, she started asking Marinette to do things for her again. At first, Marinette slipped back into her old ways, agreeing to help with every little thing. But this time her parents noticed her getting stressed, and reminded her to say no. The next day, when Mrs. Bustier asked her to stay after school and organize the work for the next day’s class, Marinette finally told her no. Mrs. Bustier was shocked. Marinette continued to tell Mrs. Bustier no, any time that she felt overworked. Which meant Mrs. Bustier had to start doing the left over work. 

---------------

The class also noticed the change in Marinette. They were used to Marinette helping them with every little thing. Last minute babysitting, needing clothes and banners for various things, or needing baked goods for a fundraiser. Marinette never said no. So when they went to her to ask for costumes for Nino’s next film, they were shocked when she said, “I’m sorry guys, but I can’t. I’m just to busy right now.” Nino tried asking again, sure that Marinette would eventually agree. She always did. “Come on dudette. I really need these costumes.” Marinette shook her head, gathering her things to head home since the final bell just rang. “No. I can’t. I am too busy right now with school work and my other commissions. If you can wait, you are welcome to submit a commission request through my website, and I will get to it when I can. But I can’t just drop everything to make costumes right now. I’m sorry.” 

---------------

Lila tried to turn this into something positive for her, sensing this could help turn the class against Marinette. “Marinette, why won’t you help your friends? Seems pretty selfish to work on commissions for money instead of making costumes for your friends. It isn’t even that much work, I know someone who could get it done in one day, so you should be able to as well.” Marinette turned back around at the door, to face the class again. “First of all, to design and create the five costumes you are asking for in a single night is next to impossible. I would love to meet this friend of yours that is capable of that. Secondly it isn’t selfish to focus on my work. The people who made these requests have paid for my work and it would be irresponsible of me to make them wait any longer than I already have. But if your friend is truly as capable as you say, surely she can help Nino. Problem solved.” Lila paled as she realized she had backed herself into a corner. As Marinette left the classroom, the class turned to Lila and asked her to talk to her friend. “I really need these costumes by the end of tomorrow, so if your friend could start now, that would be great.” Lila, immediately forgetting the lie that got her into this mess in the first place, tried to back out of the situation, saying “Guys, that is a lot to ask of someone to get done in a night. Its just not possible.” The class paused, noticing the contradiction to what Lila had already said. It didn’t take long after that for the class to realize that she is a liar. 

---------------

The class had practically exiled Lila from the class. No one talked to her and just generally ignored her. The class continued to try and get Marinette to help them with projects, thinking that now that the liar had been exposed everything was ok between them. Mrs. Bustier also didn’t get the message yet and continued to ask Marinette for help. One day, after Marinette had once again told her no, Mrs. Bustier pulled her into the hallway. She was lecturing Marinette on the importance of lending a helping hand and being there for those in need. She was so wrapped up in her little monologue that she didn’t notice Mrs. Martin standing behind her. Mrs. Martin had been coming back to her office after lunch when she stumbled upon this scene. To say she was angry was an understatement. She immediately brought Mrs. Bustier to Mr. Damocles, who happened to be meeting with the school board at the time. It didn’t take long for them all to decide that Mrs. Bustier wasn’t going to learn and it was time to let her go. Mrs. Bustier was fired that same day. Marinette’s new teacher was very nice and never asked to much of her. She also didn’t put up with Lila’s lies and quickly revealed her as a liar to Mr. Damocles which resulted in Lila being expelled because of the magnitude of some of her lies. Marinette continued getting better at telling people no, thanks to the support of her parents and Mrs. Martin. And Marinette’s life was all the better for it.

[dreamylyfe-x]

In love with your metas! What are your thoughts on s4 Lip and Fiona’s “”I’m not guilty,” “Liam almost died”” scene/situation? Who do you agree with? Also same with the s9 “you got my sponsee drunk” between them as well? My opinion changes every time I think about it.

Oh, God. Sometimes it's like you guys must have a scope that looks directly into my brain. That dynamic is definitely one that haunts me.

So personal feelings first: I am always mad at Lip in these scenes and I always think he's mostly right. He just comes at Fiona with so much rage and so little understanding that I still kinda want to smack him. But that's Lip. Lip loves Fiona. He DOES understand, I think better than almost all the kids (except maybe Ian) how much Fiona does for them. But he also can be such a dick to her.

What happens with Liam is beyond horrifying. Beyond. And I do think Fiona needs someone to tell her that, even though she's done so much more than she should ever have been asked to do and she has essentially saved the life of her siblings, it doesn't matter because she also nearly killed Liam. You can see her clinging to her view of herself as this person who has selflessly done what's best for everyone and kept them all together and out of care, in a house with food and electricity (most of the time) for years. She dropped out of school for them and she gave up her childhood for them and SHE IS STILL GUILTY in the eyes of the law.

And it isn't, strictly speaking, fair that she doesn't get to fuck up at all and that the consequence for this is going to be huge and it DEFINITELY isn't fair that someone in those exact circumstances with more money would suffer less consequences (while probably being under less stress and with more resources to prevent the accident) because they could hire a less stressed and under-resourced attorney. She's not wrong to feel like her POV matters... but it doesn't matter to Lip, whose baby brother is in the hospital.

More key, though... and this is where Lip is not covered in glory... He knows that if Fiona goes to jail his entire life goes up in smoke, because he is going to have to become the Fiona. So he's mad at Fiona for being irresponsible and letting this happen. But he's also self-interested in having her take the plea because if she doesn't, and she loses (and I think he's right to say she will) then what happens to Lip's life?

It's one of those things early Shameless does really well. The Gallaghers keep each other afloat, but there's also this war among them about who has the right to try and get out and when. And I do think Lip thinks that it's Fiona's job to sacrifice her life for everyone else because he's the superstar and he's the one with the potential. (He's also not the one who fought for guardianship, but that doesn't make this root idea that Lip does feel like his future is worth more than Fiona's less gross.)

Season nine, I'm less on Lip's side, but Fiona is also less sympathetic. Because she really has just dropped her basket entirely. Like she got fucked over and she's in that same place she was in season four where every single part of her is screaming "THIS ISN'T FAIR!" -- but she's behaving like a child. She's having a long temper tantrum and is determined to make as many people miserable as possible. The way she treats her staff in that section of story is jaw-dropping. I feel worse for them than anything.

But. Again. Lip is doing all kinds of shit that season and not cluing anyone in and then he's mad at Fiona over stuff I think she should be mad at him for. Like Xan. No one seems to have agreed to Lip's plan to foster Xan but he's going ahead with it anyway. He's telling Debbie she's going to have to move rooms! It's a whole bunch of Lip in season 11, just bulldozing ahead with something when he has no buy-in because he's convinced he's right. And while he has a point that Fiona is drunk the middle of the day and that's a problem, the rest of it is pretty flimsy.

Even more so when it comes to Jason, because Jason is responsible for his own sobriety. Fiona doesn’t know he’s an addict. Fiona doesn’t know he is Lip's sponsee. He's an adult who asked to share a drink with her and she complied. It's really not reasonable for her to anticipate the consequences -- but it's also on ultimately on Jason.

That said. If Lip is just like "Fiona, you are a mess, not contributing, being horrifying to everyone and I'm really, really scared for you" that's a whole other thing. That's pretty valid. And Lip might feel all those things, but they're buried under a lot of rage. And unfortunately, I think the rage continues to be rooted in Lip's conviction that it's Fiona's job to be on top of everything. Which is honestly pretty childish. But.

I think, more than any other kid, Lip struggles to admit that Fiona is his spiritual mother. Because she's also his sister and his war buddy. But some part of him is so hurt and threatened by the moments where Fiona doesn't handle her shit and I think his reactions are often rooted in how scared he is of life without her. But Lip, being Lip, really doesn't express that well.

I like Lip a lot as a character but he is SO wrong so much of the time. And the show is so consistent about that. He's another character where, having seen how the show chose to close the book on him has informed my opinion of him overall. Lip's too smart for his own good and he struggles to look at the things that have hurt him and made him vulnerable. So he responds with anger and part of what makes those scenes hard is not that Lip doesn't have a point, it's that he's collapsing everything with all his feelings of rage and all his fear that comes from being abandoned by both parents. So I guess, to sum up, my feelings are this: Lip's not wrong. But he's not right, either.

[gossiprry-backup]

It’s always; “Why’s this person standing on their own and not wearing a mask?!”

But when it comes to Harry partying with a bunch of people and fucking traveling; “Oh i’m sure he’s being safe🥰”

LIKE STOP IMMEDIATELY, y’all call EVERYONE out which i understand when it comes to shit like partying and traveling bc they are unnecessary stuff that is purely idiotic, but when it comes to lil harry the tpwk angel, they mute themselves. LIKE WHAT????? This man deserves to be called out as much as everyone else, he’s almost 28 for fucks sake and can’t even be responsible enough to stay his ass in his big ass mansion???? I’m sure you have enough luxury in your gigantic house to fulfill you as you fucking stay home when the country you’re in has 200.000 cases a day, when people are fucking struggling to cope with the disease bc the hospitals are packed. It’s because of people like Harry that this virus keeps spreading like wildfire, careless people who act like their immune to covid bc they have enough money to buy 50 hospitals, fuck all of you and i won’t feel sorry if harry and his irresponsible ass circle catches covid.

YES YES YES, I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH! i would never wish for anyone to get sick and catch this virus, but it literally seems like harry wants to get sick by the way he is openly traveling and partying. at this point, i wouldn’t be surprised if he did test positive and honestly, that’s probably what he needs since he’s too thick headed and doesn’t see a problem with going out during this time. as for harries, they’re all about preaching to wear a mask, getting vaccinated, and they call out those who don’t follow Covid protocols but when it comes to their fav, they stay silent. when it comes to their fav it’s, “Let him life his life. Just enjoy the content, stop hating on him” when the man is vacationing and partying while people are dying, and he’s one of the reasons why this virus continues to spread. not saying it’s only him, but he’s damn well apart of the problem.

[doloresdraws]

| time-lapse of the painting on my youtube |

❤ I wrote these for Twitter, but decided to post them here as well ❤

Werner Adler, Nosferatu residing in San Francisco, Embraced in 1970 in his mid 30s.

1. Werner is pretty chill most of the time, more than angry he gets frustrated from not being satisfied with his writing or when he says something that makes complete sense, yet the other person still fails to acknowledge it, especially when it is about something important.

2. I think he never believed in soulmates, until he met Leslie. Now when she is gone, a part of him is gone too.

3. His pet peeves: When people call themselves stupid or speak about themselves in a degrading way, especially women and children. Also when he sees grammar mistakes like they're/their, etc.

4. Unfortunately, what used to be his happy place now brings him a lot of pain, so he rarely allows his thoughts to venture there. When Leslie was still alive and he thought she was living a happy, fulfilled life somewhere, he often thought about their life together.

5. He has suffered from depression since his teens, but his happiest time was when Leslie said yes to his clumsy proposal, they got married and were planning their future together. Despite his coming and going depression and some bad days, she made him very happy.

6. His least happy time: Finding out that Leslie was dead, running to the hospital morgue and seeing and holding her lifeless body in his arms.

7. I think he is neither. He would sit at the bar minding his own business.

8. As a mortal, he never had any serious physical injuries (mainly because he was at home most of the time) As a vampire he got his wrist broken by the Gangrel who had found him after the Embrace, Werner didn't understand anything and wanted to just run away.

9. He doesn't really remember his Embrace as he was passed out sleeping, so the Embrace itself isn't a traumatic experience for him. There is a lot he would rather forget during his Kindred existence, but nothing tops his desperate attempt of Embracing Leslie's dead body.

10. His childhood wasn't exactly filled with many good memories. His parents argued a lot and it ended up in divorce that left him living with his quite overprotective mother. His fav memory would probably be time he spent hanging out with his best friend, a neighbor kid Mike.

11. Honestly, no, he doesn't have a type. He was seriously in love only with Leslie. They had a connection right away as she as an artist understood his need to be sometimes left alone with his writing and at the same time possessed quite a different, more positive outlook in life.

12. A pen that he bought from his first salary. Lucky for him, he was able to keep it even after his Embrace. Also his and Leslie's wedding rings and her journal that he stole after sneaking into her husband's hotel room and going through her things.

13. +14. No tattoos or piercings, even if he wasn't a Kindred/Nosferatu he wouldn't even consider it. He is quite old school, he doesn't really like them.

15. He had his dream house already. Not long before he got Embraced, he and Leslie had bought a house in a small town in Maine. It wasn't much, but they had so many plans for the garden and for the kid's rooms.

16. I think others, especially Kindred of other clans wouldn't probably expect him to be so well-mannered, gentle and well-spoken considering his dishevelled, unclean looks. He just sees no point in showering or caring for his look when he isn't really socializing with anyone anyway.

17. He is very thoughtful when it comes to gifts. He is that kind of person that would give you a present out of the blue, just because he would see something that he thinks you would enjoy.

18. He has a love-hate relationship with his writing. Some days he thinks he is really good at capturing the right mood with his words, other days he is questioning his writing skills and if he should even continue. He isn't proud of anything that he does, unfortunately.

19. A stranger would probably describe him as a sad man who desperately needs a bath and new clothes.

20. A close friend (Kayley) would describe him as kind & caring, but broken man who is trying his best and tries to do the right things.

21. He actually isn't concerned about his looks at all, he didn't care much about his looks even when he looked normal. His biggest insecurity is fear that somehow deep inside he is a bad person and that he somehow deserves what happened.

22. Physical: dexterity, non-physical: Intelligence.

23. If he knew that the lie was for his own good, he would actually appreciate the thought. If it was a lie to spare him from fear (I am looking at you Kayley) he would get upset at the sheer irresponsibility and the harm that could have happened and you would be in for a lecture.

24. He doesn't care much for the weather when he's spending most of his nights alone in his sewer haven, but he finds rainy nights inspiring and accurate to his own feelings of despair. He sometimes goes to the cemetery when it pours, stands in the rain and allows himself to cry.

25. He has no problems saying I love you to the people that he cares about when it feels right and appropriate to the situation. Though he usually never says it first, but more as a response :)

26. He doesn't like to talk about his worries - like when he was a mortal he really didn't like to talk about his fear of not having enough skill to make it as a writer, as he felt like he was failing Leslie to not make enough money for them to be able to raise a family.

27. He murdered a man that was a threat to Kayley and Jane. He really thought that there wasn't another way, but he sent the children away while he did it, so they didn't have to see. He was on the verge of frenzy and part of him could justify the murder as the man was a scumbag.

28. He isn't ticklish, but he would probably try to stop you tickling him anyway.

29. As a mortal, he had pretty low pain tolerance, but as a Nosferatu and after Leslie's death he realized that any amount of physical pain was nothing compared to the crippling pain and guilt that he feels inside everytime his mind slips and he thinks about what happened.

30. He wishes he had the courage to walk up to Kyle (Leslie's then husband) and tell him that he was sorry, that he was weak, selfish and negligent and that it was his fault that Kyle lost his wife and his unborn child. But of course, he never did it, and now Kyle is an old man.

31. Messy: feeding is a very stressful ordeal for him, he only feeds on the homeless men from his herd and he gives them money for it. It's always a terrible time for him, it takes him a while to actually bite down and then he wants to be done with it as soon as possible.

32. When 14 yo Kayley made him bite her after she found out the truth about what he was and she wanted a proof that it didn’t hurt when he fed on people, despite him reassuring her it didn’t. He was deeply hurt by this request, but he forgave her, he realized she was just a curious child, she didn't know how much pain this was causing him.

33. When Leslie found him and despite seeing how he changed, she still told him she loved him and was willing to stay with him. And maybe even more when they had met a few years later and despite the time, he could still see love for him in her eyes like nothing had changed…

34. Hard choice between vision & touch. Both would hinder his ability to write and that is that is the only thing that keeps him somehow sane. Well, together with caring for Kayley, but as she is growing older it is better she sees less of him and has a normal life.

35. He can hold on small talks pretty well,it's actually the only kind of talk he is willing to have with other Kindred after Leslie's death. Mirabelle especially noticed the change in his behavior, but she understands that they weren't really friends and she has no right to pry.

36. He would ask Leslie if she can forgive him for what happened to her and her unborn child. But the truth also is that he is absolutely terrified at the idea as he fears that the truth is that wherever she is, she hates him.

37. The past-so he would have never traveled to San Francisco, or at least he would have traveled to the night when Leslie came to him and this time he would be stronger and pushed her away, not letting her touch him... The future is pointless, there is nothing left there for him.

38. Positive - Leslie made him feel understood, Kayley - gave him some will to live back, Jane - made him feel like he made a difference in her life by persuading her to own her mistakes.

Negative - His Sire who made him question why he deserved this fate for his kindness.

39. He was used to live alone, then he met Leslie and then he was alone again. He was always a solitary person, so the solitude and isolation actually didn't even bother him after the Embrace.

40. The worst had already happened to him, so for a time there wasn't really anything that would make him terrified. But then he met Kayley and of course he fears for her safety as he feels responsible for her. He's afraid that her compassion will one day cost her her life.

Werner © me/doloresdraws

[lilac-melody]

Breaking Down Sia’s Movie

Okay, so I watched Sia’s movie “Music”. And I bear witnessed how awful it truly is. So before I get into this, here’s some warnings:

1. This is going to be a long post

2. There will be mentions of restraint scenes and how they’re handled as well as images. View at your own discretion.

3. There are Spoilers so if for some godforsaken reason you WANT to see this movie...don’t click “keep reading”

Okay, so before I get into the actual contents of the movie let me say the characters all suck. Not a single character was likable and the plot was barely coherent. The main character, Kazu (or just “Zu”) is a recovering alcoholic and she’s just,,, all around not a good person. She’s very irresponsible.

Ebo, her love interest, is also shitty. Not only is his character based on racism to make the white girl look heroic and brave, but he doesn’t actually know how to take care of Music, the autistic girl.

There was also this weird subplot with this fat Asian guy but we’ll get to that later.

And another thing to address there’s like about roughly 10 music videos sprinkled in throughout the movie??? And almost all except ONE of them were extremely bright and colorful and each time I had to keep looking away. Not only that but ALL of the transitions from “reality to music” was always very sudden and has sent me into sensory overload.

And one last thing before we dive into this- Music stims a lot. And yet in her music videos in her mind, she’s not stimming...like, at all. Considering Sia researched with AutismSpeaks, I’m sure she has the idea that stimming is a bad thing.

So the movie begins with Blackface and immediately we jump into extreme bright lights and music. Music wakes up, and we get a feel of her daily routine. Get up, eat eggs, have her hair braided, go on a walk, come home, watch tv, go to bed. (Or at least that’s the generalization of it) And I DO mention this schedule because it’s important later.

As we already know, Music (who is played by Maddie Ziegler, a neurotypical actress) has very exaggerated movements. She has this very weird way of walking and constantly looks like she’s doped up on medications and is high off her ass.

Everyone around her treats her like a toddler, being overly friendly and being all around accepting and caring of her.

Now I bring this up because that in itself is already problematic. It makes neurotypical people think “oh it must be great being autistic people will buy you things, give you free stuff and you’re so unaware!” when this is the furthest thing from reality. If people saw someone like Music out and about, they would be giving her dirty looks, they wouldn’t buy her free things, they’d move away from her.

Autistic people are not that accepted into society. You’re more likely to get cussed out than helped.

So Music returns home, and finds her grandmother, her previous caretaker, dead on the ground. She has no reaction, just smiling and giggling away and sits down.

One thing I noticed about Music is that she’s literally always stimming. Like, LITERALLY always. There is not a single moment on screen where she’s NOT stimming. And that’s not to say it’s bad but it feels way too forced and honestly? It felt and looked more like a mockery of autistic people who need to stim often.

So George, a man next door, came over to help fix something in the apartment. And it was only After he came in that Music got worried about her grandma. Or at least she was lowkey panicking. This is when Zu comes into the movie and gets a call and has to now come take care of Music.

Also apparently the fat Asian neighbor would??? Flash a flashlight in her room while she’s in bed and move it around as if she was some sort of cat??? I’m pretty sure that scene was just an excuse to launch into the second music video of the movie.

So Music wakes up and echoes “Make you eggs” to Zu, who makes her eggs. Remember the routine I mentioned? How Music gets her hair braided as she’s eating? Well, as Zu’s going back to bed, Music starts echoing “Braid your hair”. Zu doesn’t know how.

So Sia incorporated a meltdown scene of Music being stressed of the routine is being broken. Music starts hitting her head and thrashing around screaming “braid your hair” repeatedly. Zu not knowing what to do tries to pin her against the wall and was literally screaming at her to calm down.

And this is where we met Ebo, Zu’s love interest. He noticed Music having a meltdown and...well...

Zu questions if he’s hurting Music and...

And after that, everything is suddenly all perfectly fine because Music understands that Ebo doesn’t want her hurt and she needs to calm down. And it’s also wonderfully okay because he can braid her hair. She goes back to breakfast as if nothing happened.

Obviously this is extremely problematic. Restraining autistics during a meltdown is a very sure way to kill them. If a neurotypical is reading this and is doubtful, here is one instance of an autistic boy being restrained and killed.

After that, Zu and Ebo follow Music on her walk to get to know her route. After returning, Zu makes a comment about how she’s thinking about sending Music to a “people pound” and then adds “oh but I guess I can keep her”??? Honestly if you took this scene out of context I’d be wondering if they were actually talking about a fucking animal.

Zu later finds some of her old toys and talks to Music about them and mentions how someone “has seizures just like Music”.

Um...when did Music have seizures? This was NEVER brought up prior to this and it will never be mentioned throughout the movie. A meltdown! Is not! A seizure!!

The movie follows Zu around being irresponsible, borrowing money, and so forth.

And then we get to the park scene. Hey remember the first meltdown scene? Music had a meltdown about her routine being broken? Yeah that doesn’t happen. Zu flat out says that the change of route is good for her and Music just happily goes along with it with that dopey ass expression on her face.

Ebo explains that Music wears her headphones “because her hearing is so sensitive she can hear whispering from two rooms away”. First of all, we autistic people are NOT superhuman.

After he says that he says “she can understand everything we are saying” and yet they literally have to repeat themselves several times to get her to understand. They don’t treat her like she understands them. They treat her like a two year old who doesn’t know any better. That was literally the vibe I got throughout the entire movie, especially at some later scenes.

So Music sees some kids running around and that sends her into a meltdown. And Zu wants Ebo to restrain her like he did at the apartment and...um.

Ooooooookayyyyyy. Yeah, that’s your problem??? Okay make the tall white girl be a “hero” then.

Oh yeah just like that!

Also what the fuck is Music’s expression here??? This is a normal look for her throughout the movie and she’s having a Meltdown.

Oh and after Music “calms down” from the meltdown??? She’s back to being 100% PERFECTLY HAPPY.

AGAIN, NEUROTYPICALS, DO NOT THINK THIS IS OKAY!!!!! NONE OF US ARE LIKE THAT!!! IF YOU RESTRAIN AN AUTISTIC YOU WILL MAKE THEM PANIC MORE AND POSSIBLY KILL THEM!!!

So, we keep going on with the movie, following Zu continuing to be irresponsible and frustratingly impossible to care about.

And at one point, she has to bring Music with her to this place where she “works”. And on the way there she tells Music to “not do one of her freakouts and just get it out now”.

Um...so sorry that a meltdown is causing YOU trouble??? A MELTDOWN IS NOT A FUCKING TANTRUM!!!!!!!!!

Later, when walking, Music wanted a snowcone, so Zu got her one. While she was getting her one, Music, QUITE LITERALLY OUT OF NOWHERE, lays on the ground under the bench and starts to eat gum from it.

...Um. What??? Why??? To show us how “hard” it is being with an autistic girl??? Literally what was the point of this scene???

So, afterwards, Music gets stung by a bee, which she’s allergic to. Zu restrained her while she was screaming, though it was brief, it was still uncomfortable. She gets brought to the hospital and she’s gonna be okay because she had an EpiPen with her.

But the doctors say that Zu’s occupation is empty for the insurance.

And here’s where I got from pissed and annoyed to downright uncomfortable.

Zu realizes her bag is missing and for several minutes, she literally starts screaming in pure anger and frustration, at home she’s searching, throwing things, kicking things, screaming some more...

Like WHY isn’t ZU being restrained??? Why is it acceptable for her to do that but it’s bad for Music to have a meltdown??? Honestly when Zu started screaming and throwing things, I actually flinched.

Oh also during these scenes the fat Asian kid was taking Ebo’s boxing class and hugged his opponent during a match and I guess at his apartment his parents argued about that (they didn’t include subtitles on that bit as they were speaking another language....nice. Note the sarcasm.)

and the dad literally attacks his wife and throws his son aside...and the fat Asian kid dies.

So like...what was the point of the kid dude??? No, seriously, what was the point? To buy Music a watermelon pop at the start of the movie??? We didn’t get ANY information about him or ANYTHING. And he just up and dies. Like if you take all his scenes out of the movie, nothing would change.

While the kid’s dying, Zu’s so stressed that she gets drunk and tries to talk to Ebo, but she gets loud and emotional and a neighbor comes out and Zu drunkenly attacks him.

Oh, so even if Zu is drunk and attacking people, pushing them, etc, SHE doesn’t get restrained. She just gets told stop. Okay. Sure.

Zu goes to a bar, returns home after another annoying music number, and makes Music her breakfast before she goes on her walk.

Ebo visits, and he practically says “aight I’mma focus on my own health I’m out”.

Zu starts becoming actually clean after that, she and Music staying with George.

There was pretty much just a dumb montage of her life after that??? One bit was Music having ANOTHER meltdown (for unexplained reasons) and Zu grabbing her yelling to calm down.

After some time Zu decides to drop Music off at a mental health facility, and when they were there, Music suddenly starts saying “don’t go sis” and “sit down now”.

Hold up.

So this movie is telling me that Music is nonverbal, but she can say some phrases, and also she understands what’s going on and YET NO ONE IN THIS ENTIRE MOVIE HAS TREATED HER LIKE SHE’S A HUMAN BEING WHO KNOWS WHAT’S GOING ON...suddenly, out of nowhere, she knows what’s going on. She suddenly knows she’s about to be left alone and suddenly she can talk more than repeated phrases.

I...I don’t think that’s how that works there, chief!

Zu changes her mind and she and Music go to the wedding that Ebo is at. Ebo is a guest at his brother and ex-wife’s wedding. (Which he mentioned earlier in the film and said he’ll tell Zu the rest of his story later which he never does btw)

and while he’s on stage finishing his speech, which is about how he doesn’t know what love is, Zu and Music come running in and Zu goes up on stage and basically tells him she’s now clean and she’s learning to love. And suddenly Ebo’s in love with Zu and introduces her to his entire family at the wedding, share a kiss and then everyone started clapping.

...No, I’m not kidding. Everyone was applauding them. At his brother’s wedding.

They start to play a song, but then Music starts kinda quietly kinda brokenly singing, it was hard to hear but yeah.

And then it cuts to another bright music video and the movie THANKFULLY ENDS.

GOD. That was so frustrating to watch.

I hated the characters, I hated the plot, I hated how Sia chose to “represent” autistic people, it was all a one, big, irritating MESS.

And in the end, do we learn ANYTHING about autism??? NO.

In fact, if I was a neurotypical with NO knowledge of autism, I would assume autism makes you some stupid 2 year old that you need to restrain when they’re stressed.

I wish I was kidding.

Just because some autistics are incapable of fully taking care of themselves doesn’t mean they’re just “teehee brain empty everyone around me is in a super bright music video!” like what the fuck???

This movie was problemtic, offensive, and WHY is it titled “MUSIC” when literally Zu is the protagonist??? Zu is the protagonist, her main story is about her and Ebo falling in love, and her subplot was...taking care of Music.

And then the mini subplots of the movie too. I genuinely don’t understand the point of the Asian kid. And Once, Ebo mentioned needing medication but they never bring THAT up again either.

Even if you erased Music’s character entirely in this movie and it wasn’t about a recovering alcoholic taking care of her autistic sister, the movie would be trash, poorly made, poorly executed, poorly directed.

And, the site I used did NOT add any warnings about restraint NOR did it say “hey don’t restrain autistics in a meltdown” or anything. And considering this movie had 4 RESTRAINT SCENES (2 of them being fleshed out and the others being quicker)...that’s pretty bad.

All around, this movie was awful.

-50/10, I would sooner watch 2019′s Cats.

[jenonctcity]

My Beginning - Part 3

Differences – Lee Jeno

Part of the Bad Boy Series.

Badboy!Au, Streetfighter!Au

Warnings: Mentions of mental health, Disability (blindness), Mild Violence, Mentions of suicide.

Word Count: 5.3k

“It’s hard being a father.” Renjun’s words rang through Jeno’s head like a school bell echoing through empty halls. The words bouncing around and causing his headache to build every time his head repeated the words in his brain. He let out a sigh, his head resting against the back of the sofa and his eyes shut, not that it would matter if they were open, he couldn’t see either way. He just preferred to keep his eyes closed, it meant he didn’t have to remember to blink when his eyes started to dry out or irritate. For the past week, Jeno’s world had been pitch black. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. With blindness came a sense of self-pity, boredom, and the overwhelmingness of relying on others to do basic tasks. It wasn’t only the blindness that was dousing his normal way of living with stress and worry. It was also the fact that you were carrying his unborn child. A child he did not want. Despite having you with him almost 24/7 because of his accident, the two of you still had yet to talk about the elephant in the room. You both kept putting the topic off and instead focused more on how to cope with Jeno’s lack of sight. You had quit university. It was a decision that was hard for you to make, but you knew it was the right thing to do. Jeno only had his friends to rely on, and they couldn’t be there for him as much as you could. So you quit your studies. Jeno had a lot of money saved up and had gotten Renjun to sell his car on for a hefty price too, so you could both live comfortably for the foreseeable future. Of course the money would run out eventually, but hopefully by that time, you would have solutions to your problems.

Jeno could still hear your whimpers echoing around his head with Renjun’s words. The whimpers you had let out when you’d walked back into the hospital room with a cup of water and found a doctor examining Jeno’s eyes, only to be told your boyfriend had lost his sight because of the damage done from the accident. Your knees buckled and luckily Jaemin had caught you before you’d hit the floor. Jeno just laid there and listened to you sob into his best friends’ chest for what seemed like hours. He felt numb, despite all the pain he was in, and he was at a loss of what to do. He was blind, with a baby on the way. He’d never felt more useless in his entire life as he laid in that bed and stared at the darkness. Jaemin had calmed you down, with promises whispered into your hair of everything being okay. The doctor had told you that it was rare for people to lose their sight permanently from head injuries, but it could happen, and only time would tell.

“When they’re babies, you think it’s easy to take care of them and then boom, they get diarrhoea, they wiggle around a bit, and shit goes all up their back.” Jeno could almost hear the smirk in Renjun’s voice. He let out another sigh and shook his head.

“Shut up.” He grunted, clenching his fists by his side as he tried to keep calm.

“You have to be cautious of the three S’s, screaming, sick, and shit.”

“You have to be cautious of my fists Renjun.” Jeno growled, lifting his head and turning it into the direction of Renjun. “I may be blind, but I can still hear you, and I will beat the fuck out of you if you don’t shut up.” He mumbled, his threat sounding weak causing Renjun to know he didn’t mean it.

“Alright daddy, keep your diaper on.” Renjun sniggered, reaching out and patting Jeno on the shoulder. “You’ll be fine Jen; you have all of us here to support you and I am the best dad in the world. Jiyeon is still alive!”

“You forgot her name yesterday...” Jeno deadpanned with a frown on his face.

“That was because all I’ve heard for the past few days is baby names! You know I’m about to have another one, it’ll be arriving any day now.” Renjun and his girlfriend had decided not to find out what gender their baby was, instead waiting and discussing baby names constantly. She was 4 days overdue and the baby would be arriving at any time.

“I’m pretty sure she is the one who takes care of you most of the time.” Jeno let out a soft laugh, his head turning to the sound of the door as it creaked open.

“Hey.” You greeted quietly as you walked through the door, smiling at Renjun and placing the grocery bags on the kitchen counter. “Is he okay?” You mouthed silently at Renjun, to which you received a smile and a curt nod. You rushed over to the sofa and slowly sat beside Jeno, not wanting to alarm him. He had been flinching a lot more and his nerves were constantly on edge if he couldn’t hear where everyone in the room was. “Hey handsome.” Your voice was soft, and you took his clenched fist into both of your hands. Jeno let out a long sigh and roughly pulled you into a tight hug. He breathed in, basking in your scent and rubbing his cheek against your own. This was the most affection he had given you since before his accident, and you felt like crying at the sudden love he was projecting onto you.

“I’m tired and fed up of hearing Renjun’s voice.”

“Fuck you, blind ass bitch.” Renjun muttered with a laugh.

“Do you kiss your daughter with that mouth?” Jeno shot back, pushing himself to his feet and lacing his fingers with your own.

“Do you know how to use protection?” Your eyes widened as the boys kept trying to push each other’s buttons. You knew they were both only jesting and that neither of them meant any harm, so you silently started to tug Jeno towards his room as he continued to argue with Renjun.

“Right back at ya, whore.” You closed the door once you’d gotten Jeno into his room, letting out a sigh and gently pushing him to sit on his bed.

“Well I’m glad that you’re still arguing with your friends.” You laughed softly, taking off your jacket and sitting behind Jeno on the bed. You grabbed a hairbrush and ran your hand through his hair, brushing it gently and being careful of the wound he had gotten from hitting his head on the floor. “How’s your head?”

“Painful, I have a headache too.” He sighed, leaning into your touch and relaxing. You’d gotten used to taking care of him as though he was your own child. He could probably do more for himself than you would allow him to, but you didn’t want him to hurt himself yet, so you were just being extra cautious with him. Silence fell between you both, and you pressed a kiss to the top of his head, having to lean up on your knees to reach. “We have to talk about the baby. We’ve been avoiding it since we got home, and it needs to be talked about.”

“Okay.” You sighed, moving to sit beside him and looking down at your feet. “I should have made you aware I wasn’t on the pill, I’m sorry.”

“It’s my fault too. It takes two people to make a baby and we were both irresponsible.” He faced forward, his voice sounding low but with a soft timber to it. You felt nauseous just from the conversation, not knowing where it would take you and what decisions you would make between the two of you. “I’m not ready for kids…I had it in my head that I would never be a parent, so this is…fucking with my head.” He ran has hands over his face and let out a groan. You could see he was battling with what to say, and you had a feeling he was going to lose his temper more than once in the upcoming months.

“Well…we should have talked about this before we started having sex. We had sex nearly everyday and you came inside of me nearly every time! Why did you not think to ask me about whether I was on contraceptive?!” You felt frustration coursing through you at how things had happened. You were too caught up the honeymoon phase of your relationship to even think about talking to him about what you both wanted in the future. You knew you wanted kids, and it didn’t bother you when you had them, especially since you were so infatuated with Jeno, you just felt like you were ready. Had you known he didn’t feel the same way, you would have done things different.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me not to finish inside of you?!” He shot right back at you, his own temper flaring up at your tone of voice. He couldn’t see you, which was making him frustrated because it was hard to tell how you were reacting based just off of your words and tone of voice.

“I wasn’t exactly a sex expert! I just laid on my back most of the time and let you do your thing, you know you’re my first for this, how was I supposed to guess that you were going to finish inside of me every fucking time!” It was starting to turn into a shouting match as you both expressed your opinions. Jeno didn’t want to admit that his breeding kink was what caused him to do it, because honestly, he felt stupid for not being cautious with his kink.

“This isn’t what I fucking wanted.” He stood up quickly, his fists clenching. He needed to hit something, but he couldn’t see what he was hitting, and there was no way in hell that he would endanger you by throwing fists blindly. You didn’t say anything to him, staying dead silent as you stewed in your thoughts and feels. Your silence made him snap. “Say something!!!”

“Are you going to leave me…?” The heart-breaking tone in your voice had Jeno’s hands unclenching and his chest rising and falling as he took a deep breath. His pause had tears welling up in your eyes, and you were glad he couldn’t see your watery eyes.

“No.” He shook his head, running a hand through his hair and gripping it tightly. You sniffed, trying to make sure that your voice was stable.

“Do you want me to get an abortion?” Your voice cracked as you spoke, warm tears falling down your cool cheeks and siting on your chin, waiting for the heaviness of more tears to fall to drip onto your tensed hands.

“No.” He answered faster this time, his own tears pooling in his eyes.

“Do you still love me?” You reached out and took one of his hands in both of your own. His fingers laced with yours, and he used your hand as a guide to sit himself back down on the bed.

“Of course I do.” He raised your hands to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to your fingertips. “Look, it’s going to take a long time for me to adjust to this, and I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I’m happy about having a baby. But I love you, and I don’t want to lose you. So we’ll make it work and I’m going to be there for you and the baby…our baby.” He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him. You squeezed him tightly, burying your head into the crook of his neck and letting out a soft sob.

“Thank you.” You whispered, kissing his jaw with a quick peck and relishing in being in his arms once more.

---

Haechan had never seen Jeno more down and depressed before in his life. It was hurting his heart to see Jeno sit on the sofa and wallow in self-pity, with the cloud of his disability and despair sitting around his head like a poisonous fog. Jeno was someone who needed to let go of his pent-up emotions, and he always did it with fighting. But he couldn’t do that easily without his sight. Haechan had been worried about Jeno’s mental health, especially because Jeno couldn’t wrap his head around the fact he was going to be a father. He’d created a life, and he knew he’d have a responsibility he had never originally signed up for. It was when Haechan had walked in on Jeno laid on the floor on his back with tear streaks on his cheek that Haechan had finally snapped.

“Get up Jeno.” He snapped with a dominating tone, kicking Jeno in the leg lightly.

“No.” He grunted back at him, not even moving a muscle.

“Get the fuck up. We’re going somewhere.” He left the room, leaving Jeno on the floor to quickly pack up a bag of things in Jeno’s room. When he came back, he saw Jeno sat up on the floor. “Get up!”

“Why?!”

“I’m fed up of you sitting there feeling sorry for yourself all of the time, we’re going to the gym. Come on!” They were teetering on it being an argument as Haechan grabbed Jeno by the collar and lifted him to his feet. Jeno shoved Haechan away roughly.

“Fuck off. I lost my sight and I’m having a baby I don’t fucking want. If I want to feel sorry for myself then I fucking will.” He growled, smacking Haechan’s hand away when it landed on his shoulder. “Don’t act like you suddenly give a fuck about me. Leave me alone.”

“Jeno you’re my fucking brother, I’m done with you not doing anything, it’s been a month and all you do is sit around and mope about the cards you’ve been dealt like no one else has any problems!!!” He shouted, causing his girlfriend to come out of their room with wide eyes.

“Hyuck, what are you doing?” Her voice made Jeno’s head hurt more.

“You can fuck off too!!!” He couldn’t help the words from leaving his mouth. She flinched, her eyes widening at the sudden attack. “You broke my heart and then tell my new girlfriend about what I’m like when I’m sleeping?! Yeah, I haven’t forgotten about that, it was as though you were trying to sabotage my happiness, but poor Jeno is a fucking push over who always lets everyone use him as a fucking doormat, so he never said anything!!!” He practically screamed, finally getting everything off of his chest. Jaemin and Renjun also appeared from their rooms, ready to step in in case anything happened. “Everyone thinks they can just say whatever they want to me or screw me over because I’m too kind to do anything about it. Fuck you all!” Jeno had tears streaming down his face that had everybody’s stomachs turning in guilt.

“Jeno calm down, this isn’t good for you.” Jaemin’s voice nearly had Jeno calming, but then his back went back up again and he shook his head, turning to where he had heard Jaemin’s voice come from.

“Don’t tell me to calm down you hypocrite, you’re the first person to get yourself into a state so bad that I have to talk you out of not killing yourself! Have I ever told you to calm down?! No! Because I know it doesn’t work. You don’t understand the pressure you put on me Jaemin, I’m constantly worried about whether I’m going to lose my best friend to depression.” He started to sob more, all of his thoughts spilling out because he couldn’t deal with them all being bundled up in his head anymore. Jaemin’s face fell and his stomach dropped through to the ground floor of the apartment building.

“Jen…” He rushed over to his best friend and bundled him up into his arms, Jeno broke down completely, his knees almost buckling as he sobbed on Jaemin’s shoulder. Jaemin silently cried as he cuddled his best friend. “I’m so sorry.”

“I can’t do it anymore; I can’t see, I’m not ready to have a baby, and people need to leave me the fuck alone.” He whimpered into Jaemin’s shoulder. “I need to process this in my own time, but everyone is rushing me!”

“Jeno, it’s going to be okay. Let it out.” He rubbed Jeno’s back, swaying them both gently. Everyone else silently left the room, letting them be alone so that Jaemin could calm Jeno down. Haechan felt horrible, he was only trying to help, but he went about it the wrong way and ended up causing his best friend to have a complete mental breakdown.

“My life has just always been a mess…then I finally meet a girl I fall in love with that hasn’t hurt me, and now I can’t even see her…Jaemin I’m starting to forget what she looks like and it hurts so much.”

“I know, I know.” He moved them both to the sofa and settled Jeno on there tenderly.

“If I wasn’t blind…I would have left.” He mumbled, looking down at his hands and feeling like the worst person in the world for saying that.

“You don’t mean that.” Jaemin shook his head and tapping Jeno on the leg. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

“I’m not sure if I meant it or not.”

---

 It had been 5 months since you and Jeno had came to an understanding about your baby. The past months had been difficult for you both. Jeno’s disability had been tough on you and him, but together the two of you were working through it. There had been some rough spots, like the time Jeno had tripped over his own feet and had ended up with a black eyes for a few weeks, or the time when you were super emotional because of you hormones and he snapped at you about something minor, leading you to cry on Jaemin’s shoulder for 3 hours solid. You had notice that he was still super hesitant to talk about the baby, and he would very rarely bring it up, only talking about it when someone else talked about it first. He had taken very little interest in his own child and had only touched your small bump when he was cuddling you in bed. Also, his vision hadn’t come back at all, which was making the tension inside of him get stronger and stronger the more the time went by.

“Tell your child to stop kicking me.” You mumbled, half asleep under the covers of Jeno’s bed. He was cuddling up to your neck and laying the softest of kisses to your hot skin, his lips trailing up your jaw and getting closer to your lips until he heard your words. He sighed and let out a soft groan, sitting up and placing his hand on your leg, trailing it up until he got to the small mound on your abdomen where his baby was cooking.

“It’s not kicking though?” He furrowed his eyebrows, twisting his body so he was facing your bump and placing both of his hands on it. “I can’t feel anything.” Jeno hadn’t felt the baby kick yet, he hadn’t been interested enough to ask if he could feel it whenever you made an offhanded comment about it moving, kicking, or hiccupping. You were actually taken by surprise when he’d placed his hands on the bump instead of just shrugging your words off.

“Wait a second...” You giggle and take his hands in your, moving them to either side of the bump and very gently putting pressure on them so his fingers dug in slightly. “There, feel that?” You smiled widely, watching the gentle look wash over his face as he felt his baby move for the first time. He nodded quickly, his whole body relaxing and a small smile tugging at his lips. You’d read online that the first time a father feels his child moving inside of the mother, could be a magical moment. And this was the first time you’d seen Jeno be paternal towards his unborn child, so it did feel magical to you. He suddenly pulled his hands away and cleared his throat.

“I’m worried that my sight won’t come back.” He laid back down on his side, pulling your body against his and letting out a sigh that sent a shiver down your spine. “It’s been over 5 months and I still can’t see shit…what if I never get to see our baby?”

“Jeno, give it some more time, the doctor said it could take up to a year for you to see any improvements. Don’t give up hope.” You leaned in and brushed your lips against his. His lips sought after your own when you withdrew them, causing you to smile softly and push them back against his.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” He whispered against your lips, moving the two of you so that he was half laying on top of you, being cautious of your stomach.

“You don’t have to thank me.” The kiss turned filthy, his tongue flicking against your own with one of his hands moving up to rub at your breast over your pyjama shirt. You felt arousal heat your body up for the first time in a while. You’d had sex with Jeno a couple of times since his accident, but it was getting harder to do the further along you got in your pregnancy, and Jeno often wasn’t in the mood whenever you were. “I need you.” You whispered into his mouth, gently giving his chest a push. He laid down on his back and got comfortable, his hands reaching out and trying to find your hips as you climbed on top of him. You straddled his hips, making quick work off pushing down your pyjama shorts and pushing Jeno’s boxers down just enough to pull his hardening cock out.

“Be careful baby.” Jeno muttered breathily, his hands finding purchase on your hips to keep you steady on him. You leaned down as far as you could, trying to reach his lips and letting out a whine when your bump wouldn’t allow you to get any closer to him. Jeno heard your whine and his eyebrows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

“I want a kiss, but I can’t reach!” You giggled through a whine, giving up and sitting back on your knees. Jeno chuckled lightly, then let out a long moan when you sunk down onto his cock, your warm walls sucking him in and sending a dull sensation of pleasure through you.

“Fuck baby, I’ve missed this.” He squeezed his shut eyes tighter, leaning his head back on the pillows. You placed your hands on his chest and rolled your hips, grinding down on his cock with vigour. He planted his feet on the bed, bucking his hips up to meet your own once you started to bounce, his cock hitting you in all the right places. You knew neither of you were going to last long, the ball inside of your stomach tightening the more you moved on top of him. He kept his hands tight to your sides, making sure you didn’t accidentally topple off of him as his thrusts got harder.

“Jeno I’m gonna cum!” You squealed, almost falling forward as you felt the fire of your orgasm rip through you, your thighs shaking and pussy convulsing around his solid cock.

“Shit!” Jeno opened his eyes as he came, his hips stuttering and his eyes immediately tearing up when he saw your blurry silhouette in the light of the room. “Fuck.” He bursts into tears, shutting his eyes immediately and letting go of your hips to cover his eyes with his hands.

“Jeno? What’s wrong?!” You carefully moved off of him, crawling beside him and trying to pull his hands from his face. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine baby.” He sniffled, rubbing his eyes and smiling through his tears. “I just love you so much. Thank you for looking past all the shit in my life and seeing the good.” He didn’t want you to know about his improvement, just in case it was a fluke and he went back to being completely blind permanently.

“Oh Jeno.” You melted on the inside at seeing him weep from the reason he gave you. “I love you too.” You leaned down, finally able to from the angle you were now sitting in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

---

Jeno had been keeping a huge secret from you. One he was actually surprised that he could keep a secret because of how much time he spent with you. But it had been two months since he first got a sliver of his vision back. And he could happily tell people that he could officially see again and was no longer classed as legally blind. His vision wasn’t the same as it once was, but he could now see clearly if he had on his new glasses. After finding out about his improving sight, he’d asked Renjun to take him to and from appointments so that he could keep it silent from you in order to surprise you when the time was right. He did admit to Renjun that when he saw you for the first time with your pregnant belly, he had a nervous breakdown. The whole situation of becoming a father finally dawning on him as he saw you struggle to put on your socks. He didn’t help you, mostly because it would have given his surprise away, which yes, he does feel bad for, but you got your socks on in the end!

Something Jeno never could have prepared himself for was when you woke him up at 3am, complaining of pains in your abdomen and whining about the food you had eaten earlier on in the day. He had cuddled you, stroked your hair, and told you to go back to sleep. You’d managed to drift off, but an hour later, you were whining even more because the pain had gotten worse, and the pain was coming in waves that didn’t seem to be slowing down, but instead of speeding up. It was when the bed suddenly became wet and Jeno had thought that you’d peed on him when you realised you were going into labour. The next thing you did was cry, because you weren’t supposed to be due for another 6 weeks, so the baby was more than a month early. Jeno had shouted for Renjun, who had come running in his pyjamas to help the two of you out. You couldn’t thank Renjun enough for all the help he’d been giving the two of you since you found out that you were going to become parents. Sure he loved to clown you both about it, but he was also a big help with getting ready for the baby’s arrival.

When you’d arrived at the hospital, you’d been taken to a room to be prepared for giving birth. You were frightened, because you knew your baby wasn’t going to be as big as most babies, and anything could happen. Jeno had been sat at your bedside through all of your contractions, his hand being held tight in your own and his lips on your forehead whispering words on encouragement. You wondered why he was wearing the glasses that he had told you were simply for fashion and because he felt strange walking around with his eyes shut, but the thought quickly rushed from your head when a painful contraction hit you like a truck.

“Fuck!” You screamed, not usually cursing but the word just tumbled from your lips as you squeezed Jeno’s hand tightly.

“You’re doing so well babe.” He kissed your sweaty forehead, pushing back the messy hair of your forehead and watching as some midwives entered the room. His heart was pounding in his chest, he knew there was no going back now, his life was about to change forever. But he didn’t know whether it was for the good or bad.

“It’s time to push now sweetheart.” The midwife said to you, her and her colleague prepping you to give birth. Jeno took a deep breath, exhaling and inhaling repeatedly to stop the panic attack that was creeping up on him like a lion about to attack a zebra. Everything went by like a blur to Jeno. He heard your groans of pain as you pushed, his hand being gripped in yours like a tightening vice as the midwives gave you words of encouragement. He was speechless, his eyes following the tiny baby as it was pulled from you and taken away to be cleaned up. Jeno had never seen a baby so small in his entire life, and he turned to look at you, his mouth hanging open in shock from the reality of becoming a father.

“Oh my god.” You let out a soft sob when they handed you your baby wrapped in a white blanket. “Jeno, it’s a boy…he’s so beautiful.” Jeno gulped, looking down at his son in your arms. You couldn’t describe the love that bloomed in your stomach as you stared down at your squirming baby in awe. He didn’t cry, he just opened his little eyes ad stared blankly up at the ceiling. “Hey little guy…”

“Can I hold him?” Jeno’s voice was wobbling and you nodded, very carefully handing over the baby to him. You still thought he couldn’t see, so to see him looking down at the baby with open eyes, his eyes flickering up and down the tiny boy’s body as he studied his son. “Minjun.” He whispered the name you’d agreed on for a boy. “He looks like a Minjun.” Jeno glanced up at you, and you felt your heart soar.

“Y-you can see?” Jeno nodded, leaning forward and kissing you tenderly on the lips. “Since when?! Jeno I’m so happy.” You started to cry once more, overwhelmed from the birth of your son and from finding out about your loves eyesight. You wanted nothing more than for Jeno to be able to see his baby, and he could. Happy wasn’t strong enough to describe how you felt.

“The past few months it’s been slowly coming back, I have to wear glasses to see but…it’s better than nothing. (Y/N) you did such a good job, he’s wonderful.” Jeno’s smile lit up his entire face like you’d never seen before. He held Minjun’s little hand with his fingertip and could feel the tears welling up in his eyes.

“Well you helped me make him.” You giggled, watching the magical moment between father and son.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Minjun’s forehead, sniffing back his tears even though one rolled down his cheek. “I wasn’t too keen on the thought of you when I first heard you were going to be arriving you know, but now I can’t imagine not having you. I’m going to do the best I can for you, and you will have the best life I can give you. My own father wasn’t a nice man to me, he hurt me a lot, and set me up for a lifetime of worry. But that’s all my past. You and your mummy are just the beginning, my beginning.” 

---

So what are we thinking? Let me know your thoughts! This story has been a wild ride, thank you all so much for getting this far!

[bellylivesthepoguelife]

i need you. [part 2]

Note: I can’t say “THANK YOU” enough to @mbabystein​ for beta-ing this! I sent it when I was *thought* I was done, and she said, “hang on a sec.” After discussing, I added 1,000+ words to it, and it is SO much better than what I initially wrote! I can’t WAIT to hear what y’all think of this one! ;)

Also! I got this request a few days ago and it fit SO perfect that i HAD to use it for part2!

Request: Hey can I request "I just want you to hold me." with jarah b??!💗

Word Count: 2.8K

(Part 1)

It's an hour later when their tears stop, and a numb, tingling sensation creeps into their bones. They don't speak for the longest time, each unable to escape the funnel of thoughts ringing too loud in their heads. Sarah is the first to break the silence. Sitting up straighter from where she was slouched against John B's chest. She doesn't look at him as she speaks.

"How mad are you." It's not phrased like a question even though it is.

She feels him swallow and clear his throat. "I'm not mad, Sarah."

Her eyes almost roll, and she's thankful that they're not looking at each other. "What are you then?" Silence. "I know you're feeling something."

His head makes a soft thud as he rests it against the wall he's leaning against. She'd bet a good amount of money that his eyes are closed as well.

"So many things."

She tries to ignore the thumping of her heart, tries to even out the quickening of her breaths. "Please tell me." She whispers. "I need to know what you're thinking."

There's more silence as he forms his thoughts. "I'm scared." He confesses.

She wraps her arms around him, hoping she can make him feel some of the comfort he'd been providing her. "Me too."

"How are you feeling?" His hands run up and down her arms, his unconscious way of comforting her.

"I'm terrified." A kiss is pressed to her hair, and the tenderness of it catches her off guard. The tears come before she even realizes, and she sits up straight, wiping at her eyes. "And I want to stop crying!"

John B smooths her hair back a couple times. "It's okay, you can cry."

"I don't want to cry. I want to talk."

He pulls his knee up to rest his arm it so he can still play with Sarah's hair or rub her back. "So let's talk."

She's quiet for a long time, staring straight ahead. John B stays silent, allowing her the time to think and gather her thoughts but he's still the first to break the silence. "You know if you want to talk about things, you have to actually say the words you're thinking?" He smiles and plays with a piece of hair before tucking it behind her ear. "Don't shut me out, Val. Please. Let me into that pretty head of yours. Let me help you carry some of this." Sarah turns to look at the man sitting on the floor with her, the only thing he wants is to help her. "You can start from anywhere, and we'll work our way through it."

Nodding, she takes a breath and allows him into the hurricane of her thoughts "Okay, well obviously I'm going to get fat--bye-bye bikinis..." She rolls her eyes and John B has to focus on not letting a smile break out on his face; because of course that would be the first thing out of Sarah Cameron's mouth. "...and I'm going to get sick all the time, which is obviously no fun." John B echoes something that sounds like "definitely no fun" and the commentary makes her smile. "Then there's telling everyone, and--fuck--what is everyone going to think." She runs a hand through her hair. "Who even is everyone? I don't exactly have the best parental figures in the world. My dad and my brother are in prison. How am I going to be able to even look at Wheezie." John B nods. "We obviously have to tell JJ, Pope, and Kie, and they're just gonna give us even more shit for being irresponsible."

"I think they may surprise you."

"Really?" She deadpans. "You really think they're going to be excited about this and not give us any shit?"

He sits up straighter. "I don't know about any shit, especially knowing JJ, but he'll just give it to me. I think they'll be nicer than you think."

"They're gonna be weird about it I know it." John B doesn't comment, and she shakes her head to herself. "Can you get me a drink?"

"Of course." He knew better than to push. Especially given the current high-stress environment, he decides changing the topic might be a better route. "When did you find out?" He stands up to stretch before walking over to the mini fridge in the corner to grab a couple waters that he knew would be stashed inside.

She pulls her knees to her chest, and rests her chin on top. Her arms come to hold each other in the pyramid of space her legs make. "This morning."

"Before you called me?" He clarifies, walking back over and handing her a water before moving to sit on her bed.

She nods in agreement as she takes a sip of water, standing up and stretching before moving to sit next to him.

They sit side by side, against the wall that the dorm-standard twin bed was pushed up against, legs extended out, Sarah's head on his shoulder, while John B's arm rest across her thigh. Sarah rubbed his arm, giving him time to process.

"We should probably get you to a doctor," is the first thing to come out.

Her body tightens when she realizes what he might be insinuating. She tries to seem nonchalant, aloof, as she gauges him warily. "Why?"

"I mean, isn't that what you're supposed to do?"

"I guess..." The impulse to narrow her eyes at him is intense.

"Well, I'm assuming there's some medicine, or something that you have to take, right?" His eyebrows furrow together, and he looks at where his hand rubs circles into her thigh. "Or something to help you with getting sick all the time?"

Sarah looks up at him as he continues, but she's more comforted knowing that his only concern is her.

"There's tests you have to get too, right? Like--I don't know blood tests or something? I don't really know a lot about this." He looks down at the water bottle he's playing with in his right hand.

"Neither do I." She admits. Sarah Cameron knew how babies were made, obviously, and even had thought about having them with John B one day. One day that was years down the road, not when they were only 19. She didn't even know if John B even wanted kids. Sure, they had talked about it in passing but never with any serious intent. He and JJ were the free spirit, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants, don't-make-plans-more-than-a-year-in-advance kind of people. She wasn't expecting him to be excited by the news by any means. Hell, she's not even thrilled with the idea right now. But he's still here, with her. She knows he loves her. Has to keep reminding herself so the fears of "he's going to be so pissed" and "he's going to leave you" stay far away. Having him here helps reinforce it.

His breath hitches, and breaks her train of thought. "I mean, they have to make sure you're okay, right?" His words are coming a bit quicker now. "That you're okay. That you and- and..."

She meets his eyes, and sees nothing but fear and concern there. Her hand rubs against his on her leg. "You can say it, John B, it's okay."

His eyes close, and he clears his throat. "That you... and the baby... are okay." He whispers. His breath jerks again just before she sees the first tear slide down his cheek.

"John B." She has to wonder if this is how he felt this morning, when he was still unaware of the situation. Only knowing that she was hurting. She straddles his legs, gently pulling his shoulders from the wall and into her embrace. "It's okay. We're going to be okay."

"I know." It comes out sharper than he probably intends, but he's quick to cover it up. "Sorry." He pulls back, running a hand over his face. "Anyway, what else did you want to talk about."

"I want to talk about you."

He gives a humorless laugh. "We're not talking about me, Sarah."

"You're a part of this situation, too." She gives him a look that dares him to defy her. "So, yes, we're talking about you."

"I'm not the one going through this."

He's deflecting and she knows it. "Maybe not, but you're involved just as much as I am. This is half of you, too."

"Dammit, Sarah!" His outburst startles both of them. She sits back on her heels, legs still on either side of him. "I'm trying to help you! Trying to--be strong for you because I know how scared you are. I don't care about how I feel--I don't want to talk about me because I'm the one that put you in this situation in the first place! So just--just let me take care of you! Please!"

As painful as it is to watch him break, she knows that this is what he needs. Sarah immediately pulls him into her, again. This time his hands wrap around her back, squeezing lighter than usual. She holds his head to her and plays with the hair at the nape of his neck, taking on the supportive role, and allowing him to be the one to break down for once. "I'm so sorry."

She pulls back enough to place a kiss to the side of his head. "It's not your fault. Vlad, we're going to be okay, I promise. It'll be okay." She's not sure if she's trying to convince herself or him, and she doesn't know who needs to hear it more.

It's as if the tears shed stimulate the need to make the fear known because he's pulling away to put his hand on either side of her face. "Sarah," there are still tears falling, and Sarah thinks there's no way she deserves the man sitting in front of her. "You're already getting sick. You're probably only going to get worse! And you're here, and I'm in the OBX, and I don't know the first thing about any of this! I don't know how to take care of a baby! I know they're expensive, so how the hell am I going to be able to support one when I've never even held one! And now there's one inside of you, and..." the thought seems to remind him of something else, because all of a sudden he's frantic. "And you're going to have to go through labor to get it out--oh god. Oh god--"

"John B." He's going to have a panic attack if she doesn't interrupt his spiraling thought process. "John B, look at me." His hands have moved to his head. She's pulling at them, hoping that looking at her while she speaks will ground him.

"You didn't ask for this, Sarah!" He pulls his hands away, and the anguish in his eyes brings tears to her own.

"You didn't either!" The short laugh that leaves her throat is unexpected even to her. "Babe, I love you, but you are completely freaking out. You make it sound like I just told you I only have 6 months to live."

He doesn't respond, and she feels a tug in her chest.

"What do you need, JB." Her voice is soft as she brushes a thumb under his eye. "What can I do to help you?"

There's a ragged breath, another couple moments of no one speaking. "Can you... I just want you to hold me. Please." Sarah's arms are locked around him in an instant, and the confession brings both of them to tears. Just like earlier, they allow themselves to feel the push and pull of the emotions that come in waves.

"This isn't a death sentence." She breaks the silence thinking maybe he needs the clarification. He said he doesn't know anything, but she hopes he at least knows this much. "I'm pregnant. Not dying." She kisses his shoulder to reiterate. "Yeah, you live in the OBX, but I can take a break from classes--"

"I don't want you to have to do that." He interrupts.

"It wouldn't be forever." She concedes. "And if I didn't want to do that, I could always switch to online. Point is: there's ways around that." She runs her hands through his hair, giving him another grounding technique. "Babies are expensive, yeah, but we've got some of the gold money to hold us over, and that's more than enough to support us and a baby." There's a pause, and he nods, rubbing a hand across his face to wipe his cheeks. The tears have subsided for the most part now, and Sarah's hoping that her words are getting through to him. "And yes, I will have to go through labor. But that's way down the road, and we will be able to talk through all of this so we will know what to expect, and make plans so we're prepared."

His eyes slide closed, and he mentally prepares to be his most vulnerable. "Sarah, I can't lose you."

"And you won't." A kiss to his forehead brings a smile to his lips. "You're not."

His arms wrap around her torso again, holding her like his only lifeline. "I'm just--I guess I'm scared that you're going to be upset with how this is going to change everything... you'll blame me... resent me..."

Sarah presses her forehead to his. Looking in his eyes so he knows she's serious. "That's how I felt this morning. I thought you wouldn't want it... wouldn't want me. I mean it's not like this is something we planned on." He starts to explain himself, most likely in disbelief that she would think that of him, but she cuts him off. "But now you're here. Holding me... and we're talking... and now that I know you're not angry and resentful... I don't know. There's a part of me that might be a little excited." His face softens then, her confession easing the tension that had taken a permanent hold on his body. "Do you think that maybe... maybe at some point down the line you might be excited, too?"

He kisses her then, hard and long, like there's a time limit. "I can be excited." He breathes. "I just can't handle the thought of you suffering, or hurting."

She kisses him this time. "I'm pregnant." She repeats. "I'm not dying. There's going to be some hard things, sure, but there's going to be some really beautiful things, too." He smiles then, and she thinks they might be okay.

"Do you think..." He starts, but then thinks better of it.

"Do I think what?"

He shakes his head and looks a bit embarrassed. "No, it's dumb."

She smiles at the change in their conversation, wondering how they both aren't suffering from emotional whiplash. "No it's not. Please ask me. What do you want to know?"

John B plays with his signature bandana and takes a minute to gather his courage, though it comes at the price of making sure there is no chance of eye contact when he asks. "Do you think... that maybe... I might be able to see the test?"

Whatever it was that she thought her boyfriend was going to ask, it sure as hell wasn't that. She just stares at him while her brain takes a minute to process the request. "You..." When she realizes what he's asking, she immediately jumps up to retrieve the piece of plastic from her desk drawer. "yeah. yeah, of course." She scrambles back on the bed, and sits on the edge of where he now had his legs folded underneath him. She hands over the test, and watches warily.

His hands are on both sides of it as he studies the two lines that shifted their whole lives. "Wow." He breathes, glancing up to see her smiling back at him. "Wow."

"Yeah." She agrees. "It's kind of crazy, huh."

"Crazy..." It's as if he can't stop looking at it. "So there really is a baby inside of you."

She nods, though he can't see it because he's still staring at the test in his hands. "There is. A baby that is half of you and half of me." He looks embarrassed again, and she can't help but wonder what's going through his head. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Can I..." He doesn't elaborate and doesn't look at her.

Here eyebrows furrow. "Can you what, John B?"

He doesn't answer, but moves to sit beside her, even though they're facing each other. His hand reaches out hesitantly, and her throat tightens with emotions that she refuses to let show. "Can I?"

She closes her eyes to stop the tears from falling, and nods silently. She can sense his presence close to her, and the feather-light pressure of his hand on the stomach forces a whimper to escape her throat. She feels his other hand brush the side of her face, and leans into the touch.

"I love you, Sarah Cameron." is the whisper that leaves his mouth before he presses it to hers.

[jamilelucato]

took you a while [G.W.]

Pairing: George Weasley x reader;

Summary: Reader has fancied Fred for a while now but after almost losing George, she catches herself rethinking her options.

A/N: just something I had in mind for a while.

Words: 4.572

Hogwarts Masterlist

Once you had heard the news about Harry's transportation to the Burrow — and who was involved in it —, you felt like there was no point in staying in your apartment anymore.

You left the building you were calling home for no longer than a year and Apparated as close as you could to the Weasley's residence.

You had to walk a to get closer, because of all the protective spells around it and had to answer a couple of questions to Bill Weasley — who waited for you outside the house. After Bill was sure you were you, you were welcomed in by Fred Weasley.

"Fred!" you exclaimed, hugging him tight, not able to hold your emotions. You heard about the stressful situation it had just occurred the night before — Ginny sent a letter not saying if they all had survived, but how they came to bring Harry safe. "Oh, Merlin, I thought something went wrong!"

Fred pulled you out of the embrace and avoided your eyes, looking nervous. "Well, George..."

Your eyes widened. "George? What happened to George?" your voice became louder, and you ran towards the stairs, noticing George coming down from it.

"Oh, Georgie!" your arms raced to his neck, and for a minute you forgot that you were perhaps too heavy to jump at George, but it all didn't matter, you were worried and wanted to be sure he was okay. You slowly pulled away, relieved to listen to him breathing and feeling his hands holding you close as well. "Fred was like 'Well, George...' and I just thought..." you weren't able to say it. "I thought I had lost you."

He looked down at your gaze and smiled slightly, heartfelt to see that you were worried about him. Your hands downed to his cheeks, and he let a soft "ouch" out.

"What is it??" you asked, worried, finally noticing his ear that was, well, missing. "Oh, Merlin, Georgie..."

He avoided your concerned look and moved his head away from you hands, not letting you take a good look at the place where his ear was supposed to be.

"Does it hurt?"

"Not much anymore," he said. You both walked away from the stairs, going to take a seat in the living room. "Mom tried her best, it cannot get fixed, but it doesn't hurt too much anymore."

Fred followed you two, leaving you to sit in the middle of them in the small couch. They were kind enough to not sit with spread legs.

"I told you, boys..."

" —That we shouldn't do it?" interrupted Fred, finishing your sentence. "What you wanted? For us to abandon Harry?"

"What? No, that is not..." you were a bit offended Fred thought so low of you.

"It was the minimum we could do to help him," George commented.

"I know, I know..." you sighed. "It was greatly brave of you," you exchanged looks with the twins.

The boys said nothing, and you're glad. There was nothing to be said, anyway. You knew how much Harry Potter meant for the Weasleys, and you were sure the twins would've done the same if it was for you. It was just that, for a moment, you thought you had lost them — one or both, it wouldn't matter. You loved the two of them very, very much.

"You should've asked me to come along," you said, after that long silence, "I could've helped."

"I'm sure you could," Fred said.

"But we didn't want you to get hurt," continued George.

"Then you two understand how I felt, huh," they giggled at it, a laugh without sound.

You and the twins have been friends since the first year at Hogwarts. Of course, being from the same house and year, friendship was easier to keep. They were always a laugh guaranteed, and you were their "mom-replacement" since all you did was remind them that things were dangerous and to do homework.

They left school before graduating, but they assured you that when you wanted, your job would be available at their shop. It wasn't a surprise when you appeared at their flat just up the store, your hands filled with luggage and an embarrassing smile in your face.

"Is that job still available?"

You rented a flat for yourself in a building just two minutes away from theirs, and that was the real bust of your friendship. They took you everywhere — parties, reunions with suppliers — and, with no time, you ended up a member of the Order of the Phoenix. It was funny, you thought, after all, you already were a member of the Dumbledore's Army, back in school.

"I've made your bed at Ginny's room, dear," Molly Weasley walked in, to see you and her boys laughing.

"She can't stay with us?" Fred asked, and you elbowed him. It was already very kind of his mom to let you stay.

"Would she want to be vulnerably exposed while sleeping in the same room with you two?" Molly retorted, holding her waist. "Would you, dear?"

"Never," you replied, smiling.

The boys pretended to be angry, but soon enough, the three of you were all having fun again.

***

"We're going down to the village, wanna come?" George asked when you had just got downstairs.

"Sure," you smiled, hiding your wand in your boots.

"Ron and Harry won't come?" you asked, noticing that only you and the twins had left the house.

"Mom's put them in house duty," Fred answered.

"Wouldn't want to ruin that, would we?" George and Fred chuckled, and you rolled your eyes at that sibling drama.

"So, how was Diagon Alley before we left?" Fred asked, walking next to your left. George was at your right.

Sometimes, being an only child had its privileges.

Sure, not much now that you were an orphan, but it was nice back when your parents were alive.

You looked at the older twin. Oh, Merlin, they had grown gorgeous. You fancied Fred since the second year, but now it seemed to be way more justified. Although their behaviours were childlike, the twins were now beautiful man and the years playing Quidditch did them well, leaving strong arms behind.

George was as gorgeous as his twin — after all, they're identical — but it was Fred that you tended to pay more attention. It had never crossed that, of course. And it never would. You'd never be brave enough to tell him about your crush, especially, because there were times you even doubted you fancied him.

If he wasn't staring at your eyes like he was right now, you could let the crush slip away...

"Things are quiet there," you finally answered, noticing the boys were waiting. "Some shops are closing, of course, but... We expected that."

"Don't worry," Fred said, seeing your eyes slipped troubled thoughts out. "Our shop is doing fine."

"We're far from closing," George added. "Unless..."

None of you said the name, the one responsible for closing most of the places back at the Alley.

"Who you left responsible for the shop?"

"Anne and Carter," answered George, opening the door form the grocery store for you.

While they walked in, you pressed your lips together, an attempt to hold your thoughts. Anne and Carter were sometimes really irresponsible, but it was not your shop for you to make the decisions. Besides, you were their employee, and, right now, you weren't working. It was not your position to say something.

"I know what you're thinking," George started.

"But they'll handle," Fred finished.

You rolled your eyes; your hands, tied. If the twins trusted the dimwitted, then there was nothing you could do.

"Look at the cashier," Fred said, elbowing his twins. He was not asking you to look, but it was automatic. A beautiful blond girl was the cashier of the store, and she seemed happy to see the twins, casting a shinny smile at them.

Just what you needed...

Fred kept staring, but George took just one look and dropped it. The younger twin got the things his mom had asked for them to buy. You were helping, but your eyes were much more focused on Fred.

"I think I'll ask her number," he said.

"For what? You don't have a phone," you pointed out in a rather harsh tone.

George seemed oblivious to your conversation.

"But that's what muggles do, isn't it?"

"Yeah," you replied, knowing a lot about muggles relationships, not because you were ever with a muggle but because you were a muggle-born. "But you won't call her, so what's the point?"

"To have fun, of course!" he smiled, but you didn't reciprocate.

Fred walked away towards the cashier, and you were left to roll your eyes. George was just behind you, and he caught the products you held.

"Let me carry this for you. I think we've got everything."

You smiled, happy with his assistance. The two of you walked closer to Fred now — he was still talking to the blondie.

It took you a while to stay abreast the conversation. When you thought you had understood, Fred turned to his brother.

The girl said the price of the products and George gave her the muggle money, with a shy smile.

"It's your number she wants, brother," Fred said, sulking. He needed only to cross his arms, and the picture of a disappointed kid was ready.

George's cheeks were redder than you had ever seen, he gulped staring at the smiley blondie, but said nothing, and left at a fast speed.

"Why didn't you... talk to her?" Fred asked once they had left muggle's earshot.

"I had no interest in the girl."

Their conversation was entertaining for you, so you slowed down to listen. Fred and George were rambling because they had all the bags — they gladly didn't let you carry any, and you were no one to complain.

"So?"

"You wanted me to take her number without wanting?" George asked.

Fred looked away from his twin, unsure of what to say next.

"I don't understand you," he said.

"I just didn't think she was that pretty, okay?" George seemed disturbed with Fred, who fastly noticed it.

Fred decided not to mention the blondie cashier ever again.

You were left wondering. If George didn't find that girl attractive, he probably doesn't even think you are okay. Not that it would matter. Unless he mentioned it to Fred, well, it wouldn't matter either; Fred already doesn't find you attractive.

"Oh, you are back!" Ginny rushed to you at the door.

"Did we take too long?" you asked, knowing how worried the house could've been if that was the case.

"No, it's just that I needed you," Ginny clarified, holding your hand and taking you upstairs. You looked at the twins, but none of them was looking back — guess it was going to be just the girls then.

"What is it?" you sat down at Ginny's bed.

"Potter," she simply said.

"Potter? Harry Potter? What has he done?" you wondered out loud, a bit worried, You and Harry weren't that close, but if he was hurt, and he is the Chosen One...

"He's here," Ginny said, "and I'm not freaking out, okay, I decided to be mature about it—"

"Smart of you," you commented.

"—but he keeps casting looks at me and," she sighed loudly, her desperation visible and audible, "oh, y/N, it's so hard to pretend!"

You tell me about it, Ginny! But that was not what you said.

"Oh, Ginny... But you know better."

"I do, and I won't do a thing," she said, staring at your eyes, "but it's his birthday soon..."

"Ginny!"

"Fine, fine! I'll do as he asks — I'll stay away," she said, looking rather tired.

"You know he's doing it for your best," you stated.

"I do," she pouted, "but I miss his touch."

"I'm sure you do," you replied. It was hard listening to those kinds of complaints coming from Ginny, she was still a kid at your memories, but at that moment she looked more of an adult then you had ever. "Now, can we go back downstairs?"

"Fleur is there," she frowned. Ginny was more accepting of the French girl now, so she stopped with the horrible nickname, but she wasn't that much used to Fleur to be around her all the time.

"I'll be with you," you got up form the bed.

"You won't ditch me for George, will you?"

"Not even for Fred," and Ginny seemed happier after that.

Even Fred and George, that, in other times wouldn't have missed the opportunities to joke around, were more reasonable, although still very funny.

***

Days at the Burrow were as pleasant as they could have been, given the circumstances. You had been there in better days, sure, but it was brighter than you could have imagined. You believed it was because of the upcoming marriage — the family was so worried to organize everything in time that there wasn't much time to be sad about the losses.

The twins were now throwing jokes about ears at everyone that endured them for more than two minutes and only stopped doing it around you because every time they mention George's conditions, you rushed closer to him to see if it was getting better — he had no more pain, but George was still, as he liked to call, "holey."

The wedding was finally there, but you weren't sure if you were relieved or worried. It was now left for the Weasleys to worry about other things, and after the wedding, the war would be more real than it was at that moment.

Hermione helped with your hair — she said she had the perfect spell — and it was Molly Weasley that helped you with your dress. You were neither the bride nor the bridesmaid, but there was still urgency for you to be ready, as you were supposed to help the twins with the guests.

Make-up was up to yourself, and you proved to be quite good at it, at least, Ginny and Hermione were glad about what you did to their faces. You weren't quite sure how you felt about your face though, perhaps you had used too much black, but it was too late to change anything, so you hurried to meet the boys.

"I'm here, what am I needed for?" you asked.

Ron, Harry (in disguise as a random red-haired boy), Fred and George were staring at you like for the first time.

"Please don't say I was ugly before this," you gesticulated to the dress.

"Not at all," George said, smiling.

"You look wicked, y/N," Fred said, messing with the dress, feeling the fabric. It was a red, velvet, long dress; one of the last things you had bought at the Diagon Alley.

You faked slapping Fred's arm when a second compliment reached your ears.

"You look smashing," George said, dodging your eyes, and you avoided him as well, feeling your cheeks turning red as your dress. You wondered why Fred's compliment didn't cause you the same reaction.

"Fine, boys," you shook your head, hoping to stop blushing. "Let's get started, shall we?" you looked over the horizon and noticed that wizards and witches were starting to show up.

"I'll get the French," Fred smirked, and Ron looked a little bothered by it. You couldn't deny you were too, particularly when you noticed "the French" were a bunch of pretty girls, probably classmates of Fleur.

Harry and Ron disappeared with some old wizards and left you and George to help next families. Being so close to George and alone was making you nervous and you couldn't understand why.

Okay, maybe it was because you weren't the one very well dressed up. George was astonishing in his robes, probably bought with the money the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes was making, because it looked more expansive than the ones Ron and Mr Weasley were wearing.

But it was not just it: he smelled nice too. Some new perfume, you thought, since you had never sniffed him so fragrant.

"What are you doing?" he asked — he caught you red-handed. Your head was tilted towards his neck because you tried to sniff what was his new smell.

You gulped. There was no need to lie to George, you were friends, and he wasn't the one you fancied, right?

"New perfume?" you asked, putting your head straight.

He stared back at you, moving his head to face you. He was surprised by your question; he had not seen that coming at all.

"Yeah," he answered. "Decide to buy a more expensive one now that I can."

"It's a good one," you said, offering him an empathetic smile.

His cheeks turned red at the same time as yours. Merlin, what was wrong with you lately?

Not wanting for that awkward silence to last any longer, at the sight of the next family, you hushed to meet them and direct them towards their places.

After everyone had arrived, you sat down next to Fred and Lee Jordan, who seemed extremely happy to meet you at the wedding.

"I stopped at your flat — mom was worried about you being all alone; it's dark times," he informed you with a smile.

"Molly and Ginny demanded my presence at the Burrow," you said, shrugging.

"How nice of the Weasley to not even think about me," he pretended to be disappointed, but George, who was sitting at his other side, pushed him slightly.

"Don't be a tosser— you have your own family to be with," George said.

"Y/N is not your family and she’s here," Lee pointed out. You knew he didn't mean to remind you of the tragic loss of your parents just at the beginning of last year — said to be one of the first muggle attacks Voldemort's followers did — but it was involuntary.

"Who said that?" George looked outraged.

"Y/N, not family? Are you insane? She's a Weasley," Fred smiled, making you laugh and the stress of the memory of your parents disappeared.

"Well, she'll have to marry one of you for that to be true," Lee remarked, bursting into laughter with Fred.

You and George grinned, but you were embarrassed. Was it necessary, Lee? You wanted to ask.

The ceremony was beautiful. You rushed to Bill and Fleur to hug and congratulate them, with the twins and Lee just behind you.

That was when the party officially started. The dance floor was free to anyone who dared to show some moves — and there were quite a few people brave enough — and there were waiters everywhere, offering drinks and appetizers.

Fred and George seemed starving because they almost got the waiter closer to your table all to themselves. Lee was telling you everything about his new job — he didn't like it very much, but it was a place to start, and he was glad for it. You couldn't complain much with your bosses around, you joked.

"Let's dance, come on!" Lee caught your hand.

"Oh, Lee, are you sure?"

"Come on!!" he kept shouting until you got up. The twins seemed to not even noticed, distracted with their drinks and their foods.

Since you had no escape, you decided to enjoy. It was a joyful song, so you and Lee didn't need to be so close — it was more of bumping butts and elbows.

Fred found his away around the two of you, probably having got tired of eating. He tried to dance, but it looked horrible, so you and Lee burst into laughter.

Something caught Fred's attention, though, and it was not your giggling.

"I'm gonna talk to her," he said, and you followed his gaze.

"The blond one?" you asked, noticing he tended for that hair colour.

"Nope," he said, tilting his head towards the beautiful black woman next to the blonde one. "And if that one doesn't want me, then sure, the blondie."

You rolled your eyes, not believing what you were listening.

"Go for it, cowboy," you commented, grimacing.

"Do I smell good?" he asked, offering you his neck. You took a sniff. Funny, you thought, it’s not as good as George.

"Sure," you said. You wondered why you preferred one's perfume over the other. You generally picked Fred over George.

He smiled down at you and walked away, not caring to leave you —saying the least— frustrated. You pretended it was nothing, scared Lee would pick something, but the boy was distracted by another French witch.

You marched back at your table, meeting George, who immediately picked there was something wrong. He looked around and found his brother too close to a witch, and he knew. Of course, he knew, he always knew.

"Don't worry, he'll back here faster then you think."

"What?" you pretended not to mind, but it was useless around George, you soon noticed. "I think he'll take his time," you sighed, glancing at Fred for the last time. You took one of the champagne glasses that were on the table, not caring to who it belonged.

"With a girl like that? I would give Fred five minutes to finish."

Your choking happened quickly, making you almost spit out all the champagne you had just drank.

George burst out laughing at your reaction, and you can't help it and do the same.

"Merlin, George, he is your brother!"

"And I was still generous. I believe Fred won't last even four," you kept on laughing — you could barely breathe.

"Please, don't ever say something like that again or my mind will try to picture it," you said when your laugh died.

"All this time and what made you laugh for real was a joke about how long can my brother last," George pointed out, smirking, "if I had known earlier..."

"Don't be ridiculous!" you said, but your attempt of being angry failed as you sounded happier than ever.

And sure enough, it hadn't been even that long since Fred left you on the dance floor and he was now sitting on the chair next to you.

"Was it more than five minutes?" George asked, and you knew he said it for you to crack up laughing, but you tried to hold yourself. Fred noticed something was off but said nothing.

"She said no," Fred sighed.

"What about the blondie?" you asked, looking at him.

"Got a no from her too," he said, making you and George giggle. "Fine, fine, laugh all you want, but I tried. What about you two? Last time I heard you guys had kissed someone, we were at school."

You got embarrassed and self-conscious, but George was quick to reply to the comment. "Getting a 'no' does not mean you got kissed."

Fred rolled his eyes but didn't mention that whole situation again. He was wondering what was happening to his brother lately. Fred knew George fancied y/N, but Fred thought it was becoming a more serious matter now since George didn't even bother to look at other girls. Fred needed to do something to help his twin, but he had no idea of what.

You seemed oblivious to George's attempts to get you attention, which Fred thought was insanely dumb of you — he thought his brother had proved available for you so many times now, that the case might be that you just weren't interested and you didn't want to hurt George's feelings.

***

The party kept agitated. You were happy to see Ron and Hermione dancing — it was nice to see they were finally opening their eyes to each other. However, looking at them also made you wonder if you shouldn't be doing something too.

The twins were distracted, talking about something they were planning that could be good for pranks and the war, so you thought it was the perfect time to take a good look at them.

First, Fred. The first to speak and first to stand, Fred seemed to be afraid of nothing — but he was also a pool of bad decisions since he lacked planning. He was also very moody.

Then there was George. Caring and sensitive George, who always waited for you — in school, when you took your time to gather your books, and at the shop if it was your day to stay until it was close. George who seemed to wait for you to speak first, so then he could take a stand — it didn't mean he agreed with you, but he always took your opinion to account.

He seemed to have noticed you were looking at him because his eyes met yours and he smiled, leaving you flushed.

You started to remember why you were paying more attention to him — when you started paying more attention. It was when you set foot at the Burrow just some days ago, and Fred made you think George was dead. For just a second, you felt like you had died too — the idea of having to see his body lifeless scared you a lot — and ever since you knew he had survived, you caught yourself gazing at him distractedly, just to be sure he was still alive.

You were about to ask him to dance with you — maybe do something about all these changes there. You needed to talk to him. It wasn't to propose — it probably wasn't 'love'; not yet — but it was something. However, you didn't get the chance.

"The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming," said a Patronus that crashed into the wedding. It seemed to belong to someone important because everything went fuzzy.

Screams all around, people Disapparating — the spell around the Burrow were off. You had lost the twins, and you had no idea how — they were sitting next to you just a minute ago.

You looked around, nervous. Part of you wanted to be one more of the people screaming. Death Eaters had finally arrived.

A hand reached yours, and you almost screamed.

"Come, y/N, we need to get out of here!" George screamed so you could be able to hear him. You hand reached your wand and the other hand you let George hold.

You two ran around — he said something about making sure Fred and Ginny were okay.

"George," you shouted, trying to get near to his hand. "I don't want you to get hurt, let's get out of hear."

"Not before I know..." he seemed scared to say, "not before I know I haven't lost Fred."

He had just finished talking when you two saw Fred holding Ginny close and Apparating with her.

You noticed George's hand was holding yours a little bit more relaxed.

"Okay, now we can get out."

"Georgie?"

He looked down at you, his wand casting a spell against a mascaraed Death Eater.

"You are the one."

Your words seemed to have made the time stop around you two. George squeezed your hand harder.

"Took you a while," he smirked while your cheeks turned red. "I'd like very much to kiss you right now, but I don't wanna risk losing you."

"I guess we can do it later," you agreed, preparing to disappear in the air.

"You're not escaping me again," and you both Disapparating.

[turkisherlockian]

Unethical - Request [Benedict Cumberbatch AU] - (Part One)

Summary: Benedict is married to a very annoying woman who he thinks might be money-laundering. His patience is wearing thin and he can only trust one person, Marinel, who has a secret crush on him since the day she met him. (I suck at summaries, sorry! You’ll understand if you continue reading :( - )

Word count: 1918

A/N: Thank you @leniram1890 for making a request, this means a lot! I am so sorry for the delay but I’ve been really struggling with writing lately and it didn’t come out the way I wanted, I hope you forgive me :((( But don’t worry, I’ll upload part 2 soon! ;) 

Oh and I just learned how to add ‘read more’ on mobile, I promise I won’t take your time with my long ass stories if you don’t want to read them lol I love you all and I hope you enjoy it!!!

---

"Is that a joke? You cleaned the room, Mrs Jones!"

"Julia..." Frowning, Benedict sighed and placed his hand on her small back but it didn't help. Julia continued shouting at the old woman and Benedict sighed in frustration, rubbing his forehead to relieve some stress. It didn't work.

One of his wife's favourite earrings was missing and she went mad. She was sure she was wearing them while walking into her office.

"Can't you check the security camera records?" Mrs Jones asked quietly, afraid of being accused of stealing.

"I can't, because there isn't any; I mean, some privacy, right? I thought you were trustable people so there is no security camera!" The old woman was both confused and embarassed, she opened her mouth to say something but Julia started walking towards her before she could. "But you already knew it, didn't you? So there would be no evidence and you could get away with it easil-"

"Enough!" Benedict shouted. He wasn't the kind of man to be loud, and he usually used his words to keep people in the line. But right now, he was angry.

Julia was shocked, he's never shouted at her before. "She did not steal anything and she would never!"

"How would you know?" And Mrs Jones started crying. She was so ashamed. Benedict held both of her arms as he turned to his wife, "Maybe you can learn not to accuse people of stealing your belongings when you're irresponsible enough to lose them."

"Oh for God's s--"

"Found it!" Everyone turned to Marinel as she walked in with the lost earring in her hand. Julia gasped, "Oh my God!" Taking it from Marinel's hand, she started examining it to see if it was actually hers.

"Where was it?" Benedict asked, and was furious.

"Restroom."

"Ha! How couldn't I realize? It probably fell off when I was refreshing my makeup." Julia chuckled as she wore it carefully.

Benedict rolled his eyes and turned to Alina, "Thank you, Ms Castilla." Alina just nodded quietly.

"Apologise." Benedict said.

"What?"

"Apologise, Julia." He repeated sternly.

"I..." She looked down, "I'm sorry." She was angry and was going to make Benedict regret it once they go home.

The old woman sniffled and looked at Benedict, "It's fine." Marinel gave her a tissue and rubbed her back for some comfort. Benedict sighed angrily and left the building, leaving them alone while Julia just shrugged and returned to her office.

Marinel had a hard time helping Mrs Jones calm down, she kept weeping and telling her how embarassed she was. To her luck, she received a text message from Mr Cumberbatch which, she rarely did. He didn't like using his phone, especially at work. It must be important, Marinel thought and after giving Mrs Jones one more tissue, she left her office.

Taking a deep breath, she knocked Mr Cumberbatch's door. After hearing the baritone voice of him telling her to come in, she opened it slowly.

"Ms Castillo..." He looked up from his computer and motioned her to have a seat. He looked stressed out.

Marinel smiled a bit and raised her eyebrows, eager to know what her boss needed to tell her.

The man in the dark blue suit leaned forward and interwined his fingers before taking a deep breath. Marinel could smell his minty cologne and she felt dizzy for a second. His face was beautiful just like his soul and every part of his body. He looked into her eyes and spoke quietly, "I need you to do something for me."

The young woman was a bit suprised, as it sounded like a personal request, or private even. She knew she could do anything for him, but the way he said it worried her. She frowned a bit in concern and replied with a low voice, "Of course, sir. What do you need me to do?"

"I understand if you don't want to do it and I assure you that it will not change anything. I... I spent years, years, establishing this company. Now I know someone is money laundering and I need you to help me find who they are. You are a great obverserver with a diamond mind, and I need your help and I know I can trust you."

"I will do anything to find them. I promise."

"Thank you, Marinel." He barely called her by her first name and he sounded so genuine when he thanked her. Marinel felt both happy and angry, he was a great man and didn't deserve this. Yet, his compliments and the fact that he trusted her made her feel butterflies in her stomach.

"Anytime." She gently smiled, and asked: "Do we have any suspects?"

Mr Cumberbatch leaned back in his chair, "Only one."

"And who might that be?"

"My wife."

Marinel was lost for words. He suspected his wife? She never liked her anyway but also would have never thought she was smart enough to do something like that to Benedict Cumberbatch.

She couldn't say anything at first, and it made her boss chuckle. "What? You didn't see that coming? Because I did. She doesn't love me-- I thought that she did. I hope she did but now I'm sure she doesn't. Ever since I'm not letting her waste our money." He shaked his head in thought, "I was such a fool." He said quietly, and probably said that to himself.

"Benedict-- I mean, Mr Cumberb--"

"Call me Benedict, please. We've been working together for years."

She blushed a little and continued, as it was her heart speaking rather than her mind. "It's never foolish to love. It's something not everyone's capable of doing lately, and trust me, you weren't a fool. It's inevitable... And understandable. I know how you feel, and I understand you. I just hope it's not her, I really do. And I promise to find whoever is doing this."

Benedict was quiet for a while, and then nodded. "Thank you, Marinel. It means a lot."

Marinel kindly smiled and stood up, "I better get going now. Have a good day, sir."

Benedict got up from his chair and shook her hand, "You too."

Marinel was so excited and fuelled with desire to take revenge. If that stupid woman upset the man she loved, she was going to pay for it.

---

Mrs Jones and Marinel were looking at the magnificent view in front of them. The young woman helped Mrs Jones clean again. It was late in the evening and everyone left except for security personals***, or so they thought.

"Do you still... Never mind."

"Say it."

"No, seriously. Never mind."

Marinel whined, "Oh come on! You're doing it again!"

Mrs Jones sighed, "You still love him, don't you?"

It was the question that she asked herself every night once she put her head on the pillow. She didn't love him with the same passion, no, but she did love him. She respected and adored him so much; he was charismatic, magnetic, a gentleman with a great mind. She couldn't help but felt*** butterflies in her stomach every time he walked in, and he was beautiful. She just couldn't help it.

Marinel took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "I... Yes."

Just as Mrs Jones rubbed her back in support, "Good evening, ladies!" Julia walked out of her office. "Good evening, Mrs Cumberbatch." The old woman replied and Marinel just nodded.

She started freaking out. What if she heard them? What if she tells Benedict about it? She couldn't afford to lose their friendship! Mrs Jones tried to convince her otherwise but she couldn't help the 'what if' questions in her mind.

2 weeks later

Marinel took a deep breath as she looked in the mirror. She found it surprising that she actually liked what she saw. The dark blue dress embraced her curves, her dark hair shined under the dim light of the hotel room. She felt confident.

It was the ball*** night that every worker of the company attended and loved. The anniversary of the day Benedict established it.

She couldn't find any evidence about Julia's money-laundry, which was really frustrating because she didn't want to let Benedict down. He trusted her and she could do anything to not lose it.

However, she was lucky tonight.

As she made her way to the elevator, she realized that she had to use the toilet so she turned around. Getting closer to the door, she heard a moan from a familiar voice. Julia.

"It's too risky! Mmph--"

"I don't care, Julia! I can't bear the thought of that asshole sleeping with you whilst I can't!"

"He doesn't--mmh, he doesn't sleep with me..."

"Good--" Jason, Benedict's right hand stopped kissing her. "You brought the USB right?"

"Of course I did," Julia panted, "Now kiss me."

Their kiss got heated and Marinel closed her eyes trying to comprehend what she has just seen. How could he do that to Benedict! She thought they were best friends! He both stole his money and wife!

She knew recording it was against the laws, texting Benedict was the only option. His heart was going to be broken, but he had to see it with his own eyes.

And there he was, walking out of the elevator and looking at Marinel. She looked sad.

"Wha--"

"Shh!" She motioned him to come closer, he didn't understand what was going on until he heard his wife scream another man's name. His best friend's name.

Benedict was shocked. His trembling hand made its way to his parted lips as he tried to keep quiet. He didn't expect this. Not from him, at least.

Just before he walked in on them, he heard Jason speak. "We'll go to Paris, we'll go wherever you like-mmh... once we get the rest of that... fool's money..."

Benedict turned to Marinel who held his hand in support, he pressed his lips together and took a deep breath before walking in.

He didn't say anything. They didn't realize him at first, but then Julia did and stopped Jason. "Love, I can expl--"

"Don't you dare," Benedict warned her and turned to the man who he thought his friend was. "I thought..." He couldn't speak, so he just gulped and closed his eyes until Julia cried out, "That bitch!"

"She had nothing to do with this." Benedict snarled and held Marinel's arm.

"She... She encouraged Jason to seduce me!"

"Yes she did!" Said Jason, still panting like a dog.

"No I didn't! Benedict I swear I--"

"Benedict," Julia scoffed, "She loves you. She planned all this so we would divorce and she can have you!"

"She planned giving you two my money as well? I don't think so. Before you ridicule yourself even more, you better--"

Julia took her phone out of her bag, "Here. I have proof!"

"You still love him, don't you?"

"I... Yes."

Julia was smiling, proud of herself as she watched Benedict and Marinel's faces. Marinel was about to cry and Benedict had another shock. He never expected her to love him. To be interested in him, even. He felt his heart soar for the poor young woman, and squeezed her arm.

"Unlike you, my dear wife." He smiled in pain as a tear rolled down his cheek, and turned to Marinel. "Let's go."

"Ben, you have to believe me!" Julia cried out as she followed them but Benedict stopped her, "I’ll see you in court. Congratulations to you both."

---

Feedback pls :( Part 2 will be here soon!

[leisurelypanda]

Thundershield concept: moderno au, no powers, the odinson siblings (including hela) are the heirs of a big mafia legacy. Steve is an FBI agent who is demanteling a drug case that's been going on for a long time but they never have enough proof of the one's behind that; after a stressful week he goes to a bar with his companions to relax, there he meets a broad, big, blond, attractive guy who ends up being the owner of the bar and invites him a drink. (1)

It ends up being a great night for Steve who goes home with a new phone number and a date promise. Later on, new tracks start guiding to the odinson which ensues on angst, indecision, and broken hearts (or does it?). (2)

Oh god, I can only imagine how this plays out! Thor is a perfect gentleman with Steve when they meet. I mean, obviously he wouldn't just mention that he ran a mafia organization. He's been in the business a long time and he's not the sort to let a pretty face make him stupid. But it's obvious from the start that Steve feels burnt out with his job and I imagine Thor offers him a way to escape it.

It's a night of amazing, intense sex. Sometimes Thor fucks like a beast and other times he was gentle and affectionate. Steve loved every minute of it. Maybe it's irresponsible for him to be so taken in by a guy he just met while he's working a case, but dammit, he's been working this case for months and he's made little progress. He knew when he was assigned the case that it was a punishment. The higher ups didn't like how outspoken he was.

He starts to find himself distracted by his new paramour and the date they have planned. He's pretty sure Thor owns more than just the bar when Thor takes him out to a classy restaurant with balcony seating and no prices to be seen anywhere on the menu. It's far and away the fanciest place Steve has been to, but Thor doesn't seem too concerned. He spends the evening wining and dining Steve, all charm and grace and confidence. Steve finds himself opening up more and more. Not details, but just the general dissatisfaction he has with his job. Thor is sympathetic and attentive to Steve's concerns. Steve really feels like Thor understands what he's going through.

The dates and sex with Thor become regular occurrences as Steve continues to work what seems to be a dead end case. It takes another two months before they finally have a new lead that seems promising. The more they pursue it, the more promising it seems. Steve feels relieved, but also sad. Solving the case means that he'll have to return to DC. Maybe that won't mean anything to someone with as much money as Thor, but Steve still wants to be with him. Part of him is thinking of resigning and moving back to New York City so he can be closer to Thor. The FBI was a good opportunity when it started, but it was increasingly clear that his job was going nowhere.

They bust a storehouse. It ends up containing dozens of pounds of drugs and other illegal material. The owners are taken in to the station and slapped with charges. Steve makes his final report to his higher ups, after which he resigns from the FBI. They accept without much argument, confirming what Steve thought. They were probably glad to be rid of him.

Later that evening, he gets a text from Thor to meet him at the bar where they met. Steve leaves immediately. He finds Thor at a table near the back of the bar with a bottle of whiskey and a pair of glasses. He smiles and makes a beeline to Thor, who kisses him.

The evening is odd, though Thor is the same as he always is. Finally, when Steve tells him about how he solved the case, Thor speaks.

"I understand you'll be looking for work soon," he says. Steve takes a sip of whiskey.

"How did you know that?" Steve asks.

"I have my ways," Thor says. "I told you, I know everything that happens in this city."

Steve nods. "I don't suppose you know someone who's hiring then?"

"As a matter of fact, I find myself in need of someone with your... talents," Thor says. "Someone who can take care of problems efficiently."

"Sounds a bit unsavory," Steve said.

"Business is business, my love," Thor said. "Sometimes it is unpleasant, but almost all business is unpleasant at some point."

"You're dancing around the question," Steve said. "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to be mine," Thor says darkly. "I can offer you the life you deserve to have. Wealth, comfort, employment if you want it. All you have to do is take my name for your own and leave your former life behind."

"And what is your name?" Steve asked. "Is Thor really your name?"

"Of course. My name is Thor Odinson," Thor says. It all clicks into place then. The extravagant home, the fancy dinners, the mysterious background. Thor is the notorious head of the Russian mafia, one of three siblings. Three heirs, each as dangerous as the next. This man probably oversaw massive criminal activity. If Steve left and turned him over to the FBI, he would probably be famous. His career prospects would improve exponentially.

But.

He didn't seem to care. Once he might have been horrified to know that he slept with such a man, let alone had feelings, or even love for him. Now... to accept his offer, to become an Odinson, and work with such a man in whatever nefarious business dealings he had... he would surely never be able to return. Then again, he had already left his job. Would he even want to go back? He had done unscrupulous things for the FBI. At least Thor was honest about doing unscrupulous things. Much of it would even be similar.

"I accept," Steve says. "I'll be yours."

Thor smiles broadly and holds up his glass. "To us, my love, and to an exciting and profitable future."

[opalmaplehibiscus]

Through an endless diamond sky

HC of Kalim x Yuu/MC with him getting the healing he needed

*Part of Kalim’s Birthday Series*

·       After the whole OBing event, things were, for lack of better words, awkward

·       It was obvious to him that Jamil didn’t intend to stay friends with him. Well, at least for now. And he respected it

·       No matter what was said to him before the final fight with OB Jamil, he couldn’t help but still blame himself. Jamil was suffering and Kalim didn’t even notice that his one and only friend he could trust his life with had felt that way. He failed Jamil not as a master, but as a friend, a brother

·       Every night he would stare either at the wall or the ceiling of his room, thinking about ways to lighten Jamil’s burden as vice dorm leader. He didn’t want to depend on Jamil anymore, especially when it was burdening the person he thought of as family

·       Kalim no longer woke up with Jamil coming into his room, nor did he eat breakfast made by him. To everyone’s surprise, Kalim was able to do it himself with not hesitance. Heck, Kalim was able to dress properly on his own, showing he was capable of taking care of himself. No one would’ve suspected that Kalim practiced until he was able to replicate to perfection what Jamil used to do for him on his own during the rest of break

·       Even his scarf and make up didn’t look out of place - something he had to spend all night trying to get right. Something none would notice, as Scarabia’s dorm members and Jamil sees the same signature smile on his face and hear his bright greeting

·       Many of the NRC students were able to believe their eyes as they saw Kalim studying at the library by himself. Usually he would be studying with Jamil at the dorms, or would try to without getting bored. But who would’ve thought Kalim would be seen without the vice dorm, by himself, at the school’s library

·       One day turned to five. Five turned to ten as people see Kalim studying hard on his own but struggling. The Scarabia’s dorm members would try to invite him into their group study session but Kalim continued to say no, knowing that the one leading it is Jamil

·       He didn’t expect to see Floyd and Jade nor be offered to be tutored by them. Okay, more by Jade than Floyd, who wanted a pal to bail studying

·       Soon enough, he finds himself hanging around the twins more, which, of course, led to him becoming closer to Azul. He would help out with Mostro Lounge, going as far as funding Azul time to time as thanks for helping him with his studies. And would Azul mind? Nope. Mostro Lounge #2 is about to come home, no way he’s giving up at this point! Even better – no contract needed. It’s all. Freaking. Free. Money

·       Kalim would meet up with Yuu/MC and try to help them out as well, feeling bad knowing how they were caught against their will and had to help solve the whole situation

·       When he tries to apologize and offers to actually help fix the rest of the dorm, Yuu/MC couldn’t handle it anymore

·       Grabbing both of his hands, Kalim gets scolded by Yuu/MC for not learning anything what they were tried to tell them in the end of the desert

·       What happened during Chapter 4 wasn’t his fault. Yes, he should’ve tried to talk to Jamil, yes, he was too naïve but was he the one to plan the whole thing? No. He didn’t force Jamil to OB nor did he try to hurt him. Yuu/MC tells Kalim to quit blaming everything on himself

·       Confliction and frustration start to pile up in Kalim and finally the dam broke as he finally yelled how he didn’t know what to do anymore. He starts talking about how his fate as the eldest has always brought tragedy, stress, and hatred to his loved ones and no matter how much he tries, he still can’t protect them

·       He cries about how he wanted to make others happy while living the normal life others seem to have. He didn’t want to cause people pain; he didn’t want to cause people to be burdened because of him. But what’s the point of enduring everything when in the end it was only going to be useless?

·       One thing leads to the next, and now he’s crying in Yuu/MC’s arms, pouring everything he had held in. The loneliness, the frustration, the despair, and the depression. Just like how Oasis Maker was able to create a flood from rain, his tears drench his face and Yuu/MC’s shirt

·       When he calms down, he gets hugged tightly by Yuu/MC, their hand patting his head while they comfort him. They tell him that he’s strong and tells him that it’s because of he was able to stay strong this whole entire time, his dorm happens to be one filled with the most happiness compared to the rest

·       Even if he wasn’t as calculative and mature as Jamil, he was able to take care of everyone’s need and became one of the most loved and depended dorm leader. His cheeriness made people smile, his consideration made people not worry, and the fact he’s willing to listen and try to help solve other’s problems made him loveable. Yuu/MC surprises him by telling that he’s too selfless – too altruistic and it’s because of this trait, it has become his weakness

·       After the whole talk ended, he finds himself sleepy and accidentally falls asleep in Yuu/MC’s arms

·       When he wakes up, he’s in an unfamiliar bedroom and starts to freak out at first that he was kidnapped again. But when he remembers what had happened and where he was, he quickly looks at his phone and freaks out again, seeing that it’s now past 8 p.m.

·       Just when he’s about open the door of the room, Yuu/MC enters holding a tray of food, surprised when they see Kalim right in front of the door

·       Kalim quickly grabs hold of the tray that was about slip out of their hands, while using his free arm to catch Yuu/MC from falling

·       Flustered, Kalim apologizes while Yuu/MC tells him that it was fine, though, wondering why he was up

·       Kalim explains how he didn’t realize he had fallen asleep and was really late, probably worrying Jamil who still performed his duties as vice dorm leader only to calm down when Yuu/MC tells Kalim that they had already contacted Jamil and got the okay that Kalim could stay the night with them

·       Feeling embarrassed again, Kalim blushes and mumbles an “Oh, I see”  and blushes more when he remembers how much he cried. He tells Yuu/MC he would get them a new uniform since he ruined theirs with his tears

·       Yuu/MC tries to dissuade Kalim but after them playing the game “Yes; No”, they end up changing the topic and asks if Kalim was feeling hungry. He’s about to say no, but his stomach growls preventing from saying it

·       In the end, Yuu/MC and Kalim ends up having a sleep over party with Grim on the side, trying to cheat when they play cards or boardgames. To Yuu/MC and Grim’s surprise, Kalim ends up winning majority of the games making him feel bashful as he explained he would often play them with his 40+ younger siblings

·       Since then, Kalim would hang out with Yuu/MC at Ramshackle Dorm and try to get them to join the light music club though it ends up with him and Yuu/MC chatting and relaxing

·       The one to notice first the change in Kalim’s smiles would be the Sea trio, with Jade pointing out how Kalim’s smile seem to be more…happier and cheerful if that was even possible while Floyd would poke “Sea Otter-kun” to tell them what happened to make him seem like the sun now

·       Kalim would reply with “nothing, just feeling happier than before” only for Azul to pick up the fact that Kalim seemed to be hiding something and questions if it had anything to do with a certain prefect

·       Kalim would laugh and admit that he’s been hanging out with Yuu/MC more frequently, which made Azul hum in understanding and reply with a vague “makes sense”

·       Visits to Ramshackle started to become more frequent, to the point he would have a bedroom marked with his name on it

·       And as time went by, Kalim starts to realize that he really likes Yuu/MC. They make his heart calmer, reminding him to not burden himself or hold stuff in but let it out even if it means coming to them and talking about his feelings

·       He also starts noticing small things like how Yuu/MC tends to look exhausted yet happy when having to mom Deuce, Ace, and Grim, or when having to deal with something Crowley forced asked them to do, they look stressed yet tries to stay positive. But what makes his heart pounds faster is when Yuu/MC laughs and smiles when they seem to genuinely enjoy something

·       When Vil attempts to poison Yuu/MC after seeing them as a threat, it was Kalim’s first time actually getting angry. The rage he showed even made Jamil stay on the edge and willfully listen to Kalim’s orders, not sure how to actually calm Kalim when his wrath literally covers his whole being

·       Kalim realizes that he actually has fallen for Yuu/MC by the time Fairy Gala comes in

·       He became mesmerized by Yuu/MC’s attire and blushes when he gets complimented by them

·       Vil and Leona, who somehow became his friends (though they would like to argue otherwise), would be trading smirks and try to push him to confessing to the prefect, teasing him how his love for them was so innocent and pure

·       When the operation to steal back the magic stone ended successfully, Kalim would convince Jamil, who had recently accepted their new-found friendship, to let him take the magic carpet and visit Yuu/MC

·       After arguing about “how irresponsible of the dorm leader to go out after curfew” and “he needs to fix his habit of announcing something big suddenly”, Kalim leaves the dorm and flies to Ramshackle Dorm

·       Knocking on the window, Yuu/MC would be greeted by Kalim on the carpet, extending his hand and inviting them for a night ride

·       They seemed to hesitate at first until Grim butts into the conversation and tells Kalim he wants to ride the magic carpet again but with someone with experience since their attempt caused them to crash

·       During the ride, Kalim would glance at Yuu/MC time to time while chatting with them the whole time until they pass the clouds and see the moon. He then turns and confesses his feelings for them

·       He quickly adds on and rambles how it’s okay if they reject him and he totally understands and respects their choice if they do only to get silenced by a kiss

·       Yuu/Mc would look at Kalim and teasingly asks Kalim what if they didn’t want to reject him

·       When Kalim was about to tell them he loved them again, Grim suddenly groans out how he had to see that happen right in front of his face, making Yuu/MC blush and try to scold the cat while Kalim laughs as he felt true happiness in a long time